All American Rejection
by LovelyandLost
Summary: Abby-Lynn Swan. She was perfection wrapped in ribbon, held together with pointe shoes. Now she was trading boarding school for Forks High School. Ballet for being a better sister. And normalcy for an imprinted werewolf. Abby-Lynn is already delicate, will being Jacob's unwanted imprint break her?
1. Chapter 1

All American Rejection: Jacob/OC

 **Chapter 1: Broken on the bedroom floor**

"I don't understand how me being down there is supposed to change anything dad. She just got her heart broken; she's going to fall apart for a while." I slid down into my middle splits, looking at myself in the studio mirror. I laid my chest flat to the floor and made sure to keep the cell phone against my ear. Madame La-Laree had worked us extra hard today. She wanted us to be the best; at least four of her students every year went on to become principle dancers. 'Pull up, turn out, ribs in, smile' it was a mantra all of her students knew well.

I could hear my father, Charlie Swan, sigh on the other line, "She's comatose Lynn, it's been two months. This isn't normal." This was his fifth call over the last few weeks. My sister, Isabella Swan, was going through a hard time because her boyfriend had left her in the woods. Bella and I were eighteen months apart but we had only lived together until I was fourteen. Then I got accepted into the Idyllwild Arts Academy in California. Bella stayed with our mother, Renee, until Phil got an offer traveling for minor league baseball. Then she exiled herself to Forks, Washington to live with our dad, Chief of Police, Charlie Swan.

I ran my fingers through my bun that was coming apart. "Okay, well our fall break is from 19-27 this month so if you can book me a ticket I can fly out tomorrow." After working out some details I hung up the phone, grabbed my dance bag, and left the studio to go pack.

The flight from California to Washington took roughly two hours, then a forty minute flight from Seattle to Port Angeles. I felt gross, stiff, and tired. I spotted Charlie by my suitcase when I got off the plane. "Hey dad…" I wrapped my arms around him and breathed in the familiar smell, he always smelled like peppermint and gun powder. "Hey Abby-Lynn, how was your flight?" I shrugged. It took an hour and a half car ride in the police cruiser to get from Port Angeles to Forks. I slept almost the entire way.

"She's still at school, I threatened to send her back to your mom but she freaked out on me. I'm out of ideas; you guys were always close maybe you can talk to her." I didn't bother telling my father that I stopped hearing from my sister in May, we used to email and text back and forth all the time. We used to facetime every night so we could keep up with each other's life. The last I heard from Bella she was going to prom with Edward Cullen, her boyfriend. Obviously it went downhill from there. I walked in to my old childhood and smiled, it looked exactly the same. The same worn furniture and yellow cabinets, the kitchen chairs that didn't match, and the antler end table lamps. The staircase wall was covered in school pictures of me and Bella up until last year.

"You guys will have your own rooms, but…" He rubbed the back of his neck. "…only one bathroom..." I finished for him. "Don't worry dad, I remember, it's okay." I set my duffle bag on my old bed. The walls were still ballet pink, covered in tacked up old pointe shoes, and past competition ribbons. There was an old white desk and a hot pink chair under it. There was one window that was behind gauzy white curtains, I could see the wood line from my window view. The corkboard was still covered in old pictures, me and Bella, Bella and Jacob, Jacob and I, dad and mom and Bella and I, the pictures ran off the corkboard and were starting to be taped on the wall. Dad left me to unpack; I put all my clothes in the oak pine dresser and set my apple laptop on the desk.

I figured before I did anything else, I should go see my sister. I walked across the hall and knocked softly on the door, "Isa…Isa…it's me Lynn." I pushed the door open slowly. She was sitting in a rocking chair looking out the window. I walked up to crouch down in front of her, "Isa...Hey…can you hear me?" I spoke softly trying not to spook her. She turned her head to face me and her lifeless eyes lit up slightly, it was a start.

"Lynn?" Bella stumbled out of the rocking chair and hugged me on the floor. "What are you doing here?" I squeezed my sister tight; it felt good to see her again. Even if the circumstances were anything but happy. "Dad was worried about you; I'm here for fall break."

We spent all night talking; Bella stumbled through everything that had happened to her while I've been in California.

"You were bitten by a vampire?" She regaled me with the story of the tracker, James.

"Jasper attacked you?" I heard all about her 18th birthday and the paper cut incident.

"Then he just left?" Edward had told Bella that he didn't love her anymore and then left her in the forest.

Needless to say, I was completely shocked. Bella sighed from the bed. We had both crawled into her bed somewhere around 2am. "I'm not supposed to tell anyone about the Cullen's." I squeezed her hand, "But now that they're gone, I doubt it matters. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

I could only stay until the 27th. Then I had to fly back to California for school. It was the hardest thing I've ever done to hug my sister goodbye at the airport. I clung to my sister, "I'll be back down for winter break…I promise." Bella nodded into my shoulder and I waved goodbye.

"Un de mes étudiants les plus prometteurs me quitte!" Madame La-Laree cried. I had made the decision to leave Illywild Arts Academy and move back to Forks to be with my sister. There wasn't a lot that I learned from my parents, but I did learn that family comes first.

"I'll leave next week for winter break, but I won't be coming back. Je suis désolé" I hugged my favorite teacher goodbye. Mom had put Bella and me in ballet classes when we were little, Bella hated them, but ever since my first recital ballet had been my life. I lived, breathed, and drank ballet. I didn't know what I was going to do without it, but ever since my last call with my sister I wasn't entirely sure she should be left to her own devices.

 _I was stretching on the floor of my dorm room, my side splits: One legs on the ground, the other balanced on a chair. I was working to achieve hyper extensions and over splits. I was looking at Pinterest on my phone when the screen lit up 'Bella calling'. I slid the green icon over to answer my sister, "Hey Isa what's up?" She was breathing heavy on the other line, she sounded too excited when she replied, and "I heard his voice Abby! I heard his voice." I held the phone a little past my ear since she was yelling. My sister was in love with a vampire, so I wasn't sure if I should be happy that she was hearing from him or not. The week I came back to school, I looked everyone in the eye. Multiple pairs of red eyes haunted my nightmares. My sister had opened the floodgate to an entire world that I had not known anything about; sometimes I wish I still didn't._

" _So he called you?" I sunk down deeper into the floor._

" _No, I was on this motorcycle with this guy at a bar, and when I went over there. It was like I could almost see him, he was telling me to go back. He was trying to keep me safe; he told me I was being reckless, that I was breaking my promise." Ah, of course, the promise he held over my sister's head: don't do anything stupid. I highly doubted he had any right to ask her of anything in his position; his adopted brother almost killed her. I instead focused on the motorcycle part._

" _You went on a motorcycle with a complete stranger? Are you okay? Are you nuts?"_

I figured if my sister was going to keep doing reckless things, I should at least be there to make sure she didn't get herself killed. I packed the last of my room up, hugged my dorm mate goodbye, and made the second trip from California to Washington. This time for good.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Close your eyes and breathe**

Dad met me at the airport once again, "You don't have to do this Lynn. No one is forcing you to complete your senior year here." He piled my suitcases in the trunk, "I know how hard you've worked to get into that art school." I couldn't complain, I couldn't bitch to my dad about how much I didn't want to do this. I couldn't tell him that the only thing I wanted to do was go back to California and take the lead in Swan Lake. All I could do was nod because this was my decision. As much as I loved ballet, I loved my sister more.

"I know dad, everything will work out."

It only took a few hours for me to completely unpack. I tapped up new pictures on my wall: me and Madame La-Laree, me and my dorm mate Ashley, me in the school recital 'The Nutcracker', me holding my acceptance letter to Idyllwild with mom and Phil and Bella. It was Friday, the start of winter break, after that I'd be officially going to school with my sister. Go Spartans. I could hear Bella's truck coming from down the block, it was sturdy. Something she desperately needed. I was sitting in the kitchen; I made dad promise not to tell her I was going to be staying here for good. "Lynn? Are you here yet?" I met my sister half way and hugged her, "I'm here to stay."

"I can't believe you did this for me Lynn, how can I ever thank you enough?" Bella and I were in the kitchen making ice cream sundaes late at night. It was winter break after all. "This is what sisters do for each other." I added extra chocolate syrup to mine; I was never allowed to have foods like this in California. Ballet dancers were always on a strict, healthy food only, diet. We very rarely ever got to have junk food. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad here. We went to bed a few hours later.

"Girls get up! Billy and Jacob are coming over to watch the game." I could hear his voice but it barely registered in my sugar induced sleeping coma. I peeled myself out of bed and blindly searched for the bedroom light. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes I went to bang on the wall to wake Bella up. "ARGH…" I heard in reply. I shrugged, she was awake….I think. I yawned and walked into the bathroom before anyone else could. I looked at my dead face in the mirror. I looked a lot like my sister. We had the same medium height, brown eyes, pale skin, buck teeth, and round face. We had the same arched eyebrows, cupid bow lips, and elven nose; we could be twins if we had the same hair color. My hair color is what generally set me apart, while Bella inherited our father's brown locks, I got grandma Swan's pink strawberry blonde. I was constantly asked if I dyed my hair, my old roommate called it 'faded bubble gum'. You could see hints and shades of blonde, but the pink color stole the show. It was pastel, reminded me of some anime character, and I thought I was going to go grey prematurely. A bonus of ballet was that I got to hide my freaky hair in a bun all the time, it made it less noticeable. Shaking my head, I brushed my teeth, threw my hair in a ballet bun, washed my face, and put a gold hoop in my nose piercing. It was the only other difference between Bella and me.

I could hear Bella stepping into the shower so I started opening and closing drawers to find something to wear. I sat on my bed and tried to keep my eyes open, I guess there was a reason Madame La-Laree didn't let us have junk food. It gave you one hell of a crash. The clock read 11:02; I don't think I've slept that late since seventh grade. I shimmied into a pair of light wash skinny jeans and was careful to avoid my bun when I slid a black oversized sweater over my head. I dug out my sparkly silver ballet flats and headed downstairs to make coffee. It was one of my weaknesses.

"Here she is, Lynn come say hi to Billy and Jake, you remember them right?" I was bombarded by three people and they were all in my way of the coffee pot. I put on my stage smile and leaned down to kiss Billy's cheek, "Of course I remember. I loved to push Jacob off the boat." Billy laughed. My dad rubbed his chin, "Oh yeah, I forgot about that. You always said he was too close to you." I shrugged, I was an awkward kid and I liked my personal space. I twisted my way between Billy and Charlie to get to the coffee pot, which was thankfully already full.

"You drink coffee?" I held the hot mug in my hand gratefully and looked up at Jake; he was always taller than me. I nodded, "Do you want a cup?"

"You're different from your sister." We had sat down at the kitchen table with coffee mugs in hand. I tilted my head to the side, "How so?" Jacob shook his head, "Not in a bad way, you just seem more….relaxed. You seem more open, lighter." I looked over at my sister, she had come down a few minutes ago and started to cook everyone lunch. I envied her, she was a fantastic cook and I could burn water. I just shrugged; I was used to being compared to my sister. If people were to describe us in terms of weather, well, she was the thunder and lightning and I was just the rain. Jacob seemed to sense my slight discomfort because he started back tracking, "That's not a bad thing. You just seem so innocent and Bella is more…." He trailed off awkwardly.

"Intriguing…" I supplied dully. I tried to pretend that his look of shame didn't bother me. I knew people preferred Bella over me, that wasn't anything new. It was why I pushed so hard to get into Idyllwild, I was tired of hearing 'why aren't you more like your sister' 'Bella can do it, why can't you?' I wanted to be able to be someone outside of who I wasn't compared to my perfect sister. I never resented Bella, it wasn't her fault. But I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want to be more like her. People just liked her. Boys fell over themselves for her. My hair might have set us apart but she was the one who stood out.

Winter break was over in the blink of an eye; Bella was slowly thawing out and coming back to life. Forks High was so vastly different than what I was used to, my only saving grace was the small dance team the school had. There was only one girl on the team I liked, Angela Webber. She was Bella's friend too so I fit seamlessly into her group. While I missed California, Forks wasn't so bad.

January was going on without a hitch until Saturday.

I could feel myself being shaken awake; I knew it couldn't be that early because I never slept past eight because of years of ballet practices. "Lynn wake up, I have an idea…" I had the sudden urge to chuck my pillow at my sister's head. I sat up and saw Bella more alert then I've seen her in weeks.

"What's going on?" She didn't even give me time to get dressed before dragging me out of the house in my tank top and boy shorts. "Jesus…its freezing Bells." I hopped from foot to foot and rubbed my hands up and down my arms to stay warm. She gave me a sheepish smile, "You're going to think I'm crazy but just hear me out okay?" Well this wasn't going to end well.

"Motorcycles? What do you even know about motorcycles?" I shook my head, now back in the house getting dressed for day, listening to my sister's tale of saving them from a junk yard. I put on extra warm jean leggings, an oversize pink hoodie with a pair of ballet shoes emblazoned on the front, and black Uggs. I threw my hair into a sloppy bun, too tired to care.

"Well nothing, but Jacob does, he could help us put them back together." How could I tell her no, when this was the most excited I've seen her in months?

I sat in the cab of the truck on the way down to La Push, my sister was becoming an adrenaline junkie…perfect. Bella was uncoordinated and I couldn't picture her on a motorcycle without hurting herself or someone nearby. I vaguely remembered the small red house that we pulled in front of, it had been years since I've been here on the many fishing trips with our dad. The house hadn't changed all that much, it was a little worse for wear, but it still had the most cozy welcoming feel. I smiled at the flower boxes that Bella and I had helped Sarah plant when we were kids. My sister might have blocked out most memories of being down here, but I hadn't. At one point, I loved being here more than anywhere else in the world. I shook my head, things change.

The smile that Jacob got when he saw my sister was almost sad to see, he looked at her like she hung the moon. My sister looked at him like he was her saving grace, well that couldn't be healthy. I could only see this going one of two ways.

One: My sister uses him to get over Edward and they fall madly in love

Two: My sister uses him to get over Edward and then leaves Jacob when someone else comes along.

I knew my sister. She liked Jacob, maybe she could learn to love him, but no one would ever be Edward. You can't get someone your heart when someone else already has it.

"Wow, scrap metal. Thanks Bella." Jacob teased. "Well I know the best mechanic in town; I figured that we could fix them up." She motioned between the three of us. I'll give Bells one thing, she always did everything to make sure I felt included. "It'll be fun…" I piped in halfheartedly. Jacob seemed to suddenly take in my appearance next to my sister. "Oh, yeah hi Abby-Lynn." Thanks for the enthusiasm Jacob….really. I sat on the ground against a tool box while Jacob and Bella flirted and joked around. Of course he agreed to help rebuild the bikes, anything if it made Bella smile at him like that. So here I was, in the corner watching them mess around together while Jacob got to work. Bella was passing him tools when two other guys came barreling into the garage.

"We just came to see Jake's new girlfriend…" One called out. Jake got up and laughed nervously, "Um no…I think I said that she was a girl and she was my friend."

The other guy looked around, "Embry, do you remember him making that distinction?" Embry shook his head.

Jacob went pink, "Bella this is Embry and Quil…." My sister waved shyly but she was smiling. Embry looked over to where I was in the corner, "Who're you?"

"Oh well look at that, I'm not invisible after all. I'm Bella's sister Abby." I answered wirily. Quil snorted and Embry held out a hand for me to take, "What're you doing on the floor?" I took his hand and Quil hauled me up by my other side. I shrugged, I didn't fit in between Jacob and my sister, but I wasn't to admit to that.

Embry went and knocked Jake upside the head, "Dude we all know you've got it for Bella, but don't be rude." I giggled. It was nice to see someone notice me over my sister for a change. They started scuffling and I went to sit down next to Bella while Quil tried to pull them apart.

Bella leaned her head on my shoulder, "I'm sorry Lynn, I don't mean for you to feel left out." I nodded. I know she didn't, it just seemed to always happen that way.

The next few times I followed my sister to La Push were much the same. Jacob and Bella got lost in their own world, they had their own routine. Jake would fix the bikes, Bella would hand him the parts and they'd ask questions back and forth. I would stay in the corner; I didn't even know why I bothered coming. But then Embry and Quil would come to hang out and they talked to me, made me laugh. Surprisingly, they seemed to prefer me over my sister. So one day when they invited me to go have dinner with them at the Clearwater's, I didn't hesitate to accept. Jake and my sister usually ordered pizza anyway and then did homework together. They wouldn't miss me. I looked down at what I was wearing, two layered black tank tops, black spandex shorts with pink tights underneath and grey leg warmers. I only switched out my pointe shoes for street ballet flats. I stopped trying to dress up or anything the second time when I figured out that I'd just be sitting on the floor doing nothing anyway. So I stayed in my warm up clothes and stretched outside in the fresh air while I overheard Jacob and Bella talk. "Do I look okay?" I looked between Embry and Quil nervously. They shrugged and ran the doorbell.

Sue and Harry Clearwater were such nice people. They had two kids, Seth and Leah. Seth was a little younger than Embry and Quil, he was absolutely adorable. Leah was a little bit older than me and I liked her immediately. She was quick-witted and brutally honest. It turns out she had been a cheerleader in high school so we had bonded over dance. Seth was just impossible not to like, and the kid always seemed to be smiling. It turns out Harry often went with my dad and Billy on fishing trips. Sue reminded me of my mom but more nurturing. Renee was too scatter brained, I think Bella and I spent most of our childhood taking care of her instead of the other way around.

By the end of the night I had a place I was always welcome according to Sue and Harry. Leah and I had exchanged cell phone numbers with promises of getting together soon. I had given Seth my cell phone number in case he needed anything; it was hard to not want to mother hen him. Embry and Quil walked me back to Jacob's garage, "Thanks for letting me tag along guys." I hugged them both briefly. Embry ruffled my hair, "No problem, you're pretty cool Abs…" Quil nodded, "You're a lot different from your sister…"

It was the first time that I walked away from hearing that sentence, that I felt that maybe people could prefer me over my sister sometimes too.

 **Author's Note: I'm trying to stay a lot closer to the actual timeline this go around. So...Cheers. Comment. Lottie.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Dangerous in the best way**

I yawned and gripped my thermos tighter, Bella was bouncing in excitement. Jacob had finally finished the bikes. I was indifferent; my ass was defiantly not going on one of those death traps. While Bella wound herself tighter around Jacob, I hung out with Embry and Quil playing video games, I went and helped Seth with his homework, Leah and I went shopping in Port Angeles, and Sue was teaching me how to cook. I had found amazing people in La Push, and it felt good to not have to rely on my sister for my only friend.

We were currently on our way to Jacob's so we could load up the bikes and Jacob could show my sister how to not die on one of them. I was riding along because she asked me to, and I wanted to be there to call 911 when she needed stitches. If I knew my sister, and I did, she was defiantly going to need stitches. Maybe I should become a doctor, I'm sure it'd save our dad a lot of money. I wonder how good his health insurance was as a police officer. I sipped my french vanilla coffee gratefully and tuned out my sister's insistent babbling.

Jacob loaded up both of the bikes himself and my sister hummed appreciatively, "Wow Jake, have you been working out?" He winked at her; I thought I was going to puke. On our way to a deserted old road Jacob knew about my sister cried and pulled the truck over. "What are they doing?!" I tugged my jacket closer to me and looked over at the cliffs. Four distinctive bodies could be spotted at the top of the cliffs and one by one they jumped. Embry and Quil had told me about cliff-diving, the recreational sport here on the reservation. Embry also said that only the 'hall monitors' jumped from that high up. Jacob came to my sister's side and hugged her, "Don't worry Bells, they're just cliff diving, its fun. But only Sam Uley's gang jumps that high off, it's suicidal." While Jacob explained all about Sam Uley's cult with some of the other teenagers, I looked closer at one of the bodies about to jump. I rubbed my eyes, "Is that Embry?" Jacob looked over at me in shock, probably wondering how I recognized his friend from so far away. It's amazing how much you miss when you're stuck up someone's ass. He nodded nonetheless, "Sam started looking at him funny, and then Embry got sick and missed a few weeks of school. When he came back he was one of them." We loaded back into the truck but not before I heard him whisper to Bella, "Now he's looking at me like I'm next, I'm scared Bells."

"Break!" I screamed. I winced when I saw my sister crash a few miles away on the dirt road. Jacob had spent time going over all the parts and how to break. It seemed she was getting the hang of it, even started accelerating, when she crashed and hit her head on a rock. Jake took the second bike to get to her and I ran after him. I got there just in time to see him rip his shirt off to put it against Bella's bleeding forehead. "I'm sorry…" she immediately apologized. I'm sure she was thinking back to the last time she had bled in front of someone. It was her birthday and she had almost died. Hazard of hanging out with vampires I supposed. Jacob merely laughed, "What are you apologizing for Bella? Bleeding?" He held the shirt tighter against her forehead. My sister got this dazed look in her eye, "You're kind of beautiful."

"Alright you probably have a concussion, let's get you to the hospital." I couldn't agree with the shirtless boy more.

"Bella what the hell?" Our dad came home to find out that one of his daughters was at the ER and came out with seven stitches. Bella ran her fingers over the stitches gently, "its fine dad really, I just tripped and fell over a tool at Jake's garage." I turned tail and ran back upstairs before dad could ask me to back up her story, I was a horrible liar. One look at my face and you could immediately tell I was lying. I would have been a terrible Secret Keeper in the Harry Potter world. I opted out the next time she wanted to go try out the bikes, I sure as hell didn't have a death wish. I had a feeling she was doing this to fuel her hallucinations of Edward. At least then when she came home hurt the second time, I didn't have to lie. I really didn't know what happened. Jacob was smart enough to put a stop to Bella's dare-devil persona with the motorcycles after that. If he hadn't, I would have. I really should become a doctor.

"Are you sure you don't want to come to the movies with us? It'll be me, Jake, Angela, Ben, Mike, and Jessica." Bella had arranged for a group of friends to go see Face Punch at the movie theatres. It was a more elaborate attempt at feinting off Mike Newton's advances. I stayed where I was on the living room floor. I was in my middle splits doing calculus homework. I was considering going to medical school after graduation, my dancing career is over since I chose to finish out my senior year here. Now I needed a new dream to focus on, and while I would never give up ballet completely, I had to accept that it was no longer a career option. Needless to say, I was slightly depressed and not in any mood to go to the movie theatre. I waved my sister goodnight.

"Well I'm glad I didn't go." I muttered as I held my sister's hair back while she vomited over the toilet. Everyone had gotten sick but her, Jacob, and Mike. Then Mike got sick, and then Jacob ran off claiming to be ill, now Bella was going to become very friendly with the bathroom tile floor. I fed her saltine crackers and had her sip ginger ale all night. Luckily, it seemed to be a pretty quick virus and I only had to hold her hair back for two days. It turns out Jacob's strain might be a little different.

I looked up from my English Lit homework to see my sister pace back and forth in front of me, "Hey Billy, can I talk to Jake? Oh okay." She paused and I could tell when Jacob answered because her face lit up, "Hey Jake, how're you feeling? Oh really? Oh…okay." She hung up the phone dejectedly.

"Trouble in paradise?" I teased but she looked heartbroken, "He says he's still sick and he'll call me when he feels better." I didn't think that sounded bad but to my sister it was the end of the world.

I bore witness as she called the Black house insistently every day, and every day getting more and more irritated. Nothing I said to her seemed to help, so finally out of desperation I asked dad to talk to Harry and see about Jacob. When dad reported that Harry said Jacob was still sick, it seemed to appease her for the time being.

"Come on…" I looked up and saw my sister storming around the house. It had been a week since Harry had informed us that Jacob still had mono, Bella was losing her mind. I slid on my white Keds, and threw a long sleeve grey shirt over my white tank top and black yoga pants. "Where are we going?" I didn't get an answer until we were pulled over in the forest.

"There is this meadow that Edward took me to once; I want to see if I can find it again." I rolled my eyes, neither one of us had any sense of direction. We were bound to get lost. I followed her deeper and deeper into the forest. I was sweating and Bella was covered in small cuts and scratches from falling. We finally pushed through to an opening in the woods. It was an opening about the size of two football fields, covered in wild flowers. It was beautiful, I leaned on my knees to catch my breath and Bella walked around amazed. "Did you expect to find him here?" I questioned out of breath, I really hated the outdoors. She shrugged, but her reply was cut short.

"Bella?" An entirely new voice questioned. It was smooth and silky, like honey in the summer. Bella gripped my hand and we stood side by side. The man who had spoken was a vampire. I looked at his red eyes before anything else; he seemed to know my sister. He had a dark complexion, made pale by the vampire venom. He had an accent, he wasn't from around here. He had dreadlocks and they blew behind him as he approached us. "I went by to see the Cullen's but it seems they are not here." I tugged my sister behind me, I'd be no use against a vampire, but the protective instinct was there just the same. He stalked around us lazily, "I'm surprised they left you here, they seemed very attached to you." He chuckled lightly. I could feel Bella tremble.

"They visit regularly, I'll tell them you stopped by." Well at least she was a better liar than I was.

He seemed to call her bluff, "Really? Their scent is very old. I would guess they hadn't been here in months." In an instant, he was in front of us. "Victoria will be most pleased to find out that you are here unguarded." I gulped and the action seemed to draw his attention to me and he licked his lips before turning back to my sister, "I'll do you a favor, I'll kill you right now. With me it will be quick and painless, while Victoria plans on taking you slow and painfully. If I take you and your friend here I can leave the area with no more meals."

"Laurent please no…" my sister whispered.

I screamed and Bella stumble backwards, I swear I could see my life flash before my eyes. Bella fell and dragged me down on the ground with her. I looked over into the trees when I heard growling. Laurent whirled around, "Impossible….."

They were massive, giant animals. Wolves, as I looked at them longer I realized they were over grown wolves. They growled and pounced, ready to attack Laurent. One wolf caught my eye, only because I recognized the eyes it had. Heterochromia iridium. The word replayed in my head. I caught a glimpse of one brown eye and one hazel eye. I only knew the term because Embry had explained it to me before, it happened when you had increased or decreased pigmentation in the iris. He had to explain this to me because it was the same condition he had. His right eye was brown and his left eye was hazel, much like this wolf. The condition was rare in humans, what were the odds that a wolf had the same condition? I lay on the ground with my sister in shock while the wolves chased after Laurent.

After the meadow incident, I refused to go anywhere with my sister. She kept calling Jacob, went down to the reservation to force him into talking to her. She came slamming back into the house, "He's part of Sam's gang!" She started slamming pots and pans in the kitchen. It was a common occurrence now for my sister to lose her cool when it came to Jacob Black. I looked up calmly from my seat in the kitchen chair reading the 'Scarlet Letter', "How do you know that?"

"I gave Quil a ride, and he told me. Jake is hanging around Sam now. Can you believe it? I went to go talk to him about it and he told me he can't see me anymore." She fumed. I wasn't so sure that was the whole story. It'd only been five days since our run in with Laurent. While my sister went into stalking mood, I hit the internet. Apparently the most common form of Heterochromia iridium in humans is one brown eye and one green/hazel eye like Embry. In animals, however, it was completely different. It almost always involves one blue eye. If I hadn't been almost attacked by a vampire I wouldn't have out much stock into any of this, but now? Anything was possible.

Dinner was a stilted affair since Bella was still pissed off, so conversation was at a standstill. Bella went off to bed early and I went into the living room to gather up my school stuff before bed. Dad was looking more and more stressed out recently with the animal attacks going around, he made us promise not to go into the woods by ourselves. The killings were getting close to home and it had everyone on edge. "You okay dad?" He looked shocked to see me there, he had bags under his eyes and he looked exhausted. "I'm okay Abs; we think they might be wolves. I mean that's what you and Bella saw right?" I wanted to correct him and say that was what Bella told you. As soon as she came home she went to dad telling him about the giant wolves that were in the forest. She conveniently left out the part where they saved our lives from a vampire. If they were just wild animals, wouldn't they have attacked us too? Aren't wolves' lone creatures or something? The whole thing didn't sit right with me. The wolves chose to attack and go after Laurent; I don't think normal wolves do that…do they? Needless to say, while Bella bawled to dad about it, I kept quiet.

"We're going to get together a search party, take them out before they can hurt anyone else." Dad ruffled my hair and headed upstairs to bed. If there was any chance that my crazy ass was right…

I quickly ran upstairs to throw on a pair of jeans and a black long sleeve shirt before I slipped on my black ballet flats. I grabbed my grey zip up hoodie by the door and stole Bella's car keys from the hook. I prayed the engine wouldn't wake them up while I coasted out of the driveway. I might be crazy but if there was any chance I was right, there was no way I was letting anyone hurt some of the only friends I had found here. Werewolves be damned.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: This can get you hurt**

"Pick up the phone damn it." I redialed Embry's number. He had fallen off the face of the earth when he joined Sam's…what? Pack? When he joined Sam's whatever. He still texted me but always made an excuse when I tried to hang out. I thought maybe he just didn't like me.

"Pick up the phone Call…" I was bouncing up and down in the seat on my way down to the La Push. I was about to hang up the phone when a groggy voice answered, "Hello?" I have never been so relieved to hear a boy's voice in my life. Checking my sister's truck clock it read 1:20am. I winced, "Sorry Embry, no time for pleasantries we have a problem."

"What? Abby? What's wrong?" He sounded more awake.

"Can you just meet me at First Beach in ten minutes?"

I got out of the truck and jogged up to the only other body on the beach this early in the morning. Embry had grown at least six inches, had chopped off all his hair, gotten a tattoo, and put on at least ten pounds in muscle alone. When he looked at me though, his eyes were still his eyes. Please don't let me be crazy. "What's going on Abby?" I felt disheveled and awkward. Now that I had him here, what was I supposed to say? I shuffled my feet back and forth. Embry poked my shoulder, "Well? You're scaring me here Abs."

"You have Heterochromia iridium." I blurted out. Embry just looked confused, "Yeah I told you that a few weeks ago." Great, he thought I was crazy. I pushed on, "No you have heterochromia iridium which causes you to have one brown eye and one hazel eye."

"You don't have to enlighten me about my own condition Abs." He was starting to get annoyed. "In animals, it almost always involves a blue eye. That wolf in the woods didn't have a blue eye. It had your eyes." He froze and looked down at me in shock.

"I need you to stay right here and don't move okay?" He backed away slowly before sprinting off, that was so not the reaction I was going for. A few seconds later I heard howling. Embry came running back a few minutes later, "Come on, I'm taking you to Sam and Emily's."

I pulled up to a quaint blue one story house nestled in the woods down a long dirt driveway. It was overflowing with flower boxes and wind chimes. Embry guided me in the house where I was met with three more massive bodies and a woman with a marred face. Embry introduced me to his pack alpha Sam, then to his two pack brothers, Paul and Jared. Emily was Sam's fiancée. When I finished telling Sam how I figured it out Paul started laughing, "Damn I like this one. She's smart." I grinned. I'm just glad I wasn't crazy. After everyone settled down and Emily had gotten a cup of coffee Embry looked at me confused, "But why couldn't you have waited until later to tell me you knew?" I gasped; I had forgotten the reason for all the urgency. "My dad is putting a search party together; they're going out to hunt you guys. They think that you guys are the ones killing all those people." I bit my bottom lip harshly. Jared growled and Paul stood up yelling, "They think we're killing people? Talk to your leech loving sister. We are saving people." I winced.

"So vampires are killing people?" I looked at Embry, he nodded, "It's the only reason we phase. We are made to hunt vampires." I shook my head as a chill ran down my back. Emily patted me on the shoulder, "You get used to it, but might I say sweetheart. You're good with weird." I laughed. Bella had made sure of that.

Emily insisted I stay the night here instead of driving back, I could just tell Charlie I stayed with Leah. I agreed easily enough, know that my body wasn't running on adrenaline I was tired. Then the front door slammed open, "Its bullshit that I can't tell her Sam." I recognized Jacob's voice as he came into the living room. I was sitting on the couch with Emily and Embry. Did anyone knock in this house? Jacob scanned the room, looking for Sam, when he eyes landed on me. "Abby?" I lifted my head from my chest and met Jacob's eyes. His jaw went slack, his posture weakened, his eyes got big, and he got a small dopey smile on his face. He slowly walked over to me and fell to his knees, up close I could see his eyes were filled with adoration and need; they looked at me with love and protectiveness. It was a very strange thing to see him looking at me like that, especially since I hardly ever recall him looking at me at all. "What are you doing here?" His voice was soft, like he was trying not to startle me.

"Um…wolves…search party…dead people." I stuttered in broken snippets, he was making me nervous. Embry put a protective arm around me, "She figured out our secret and came over to warn us about Charlie putting together a search party." Jacob zeroed in on Embry's arm around my shoulder.

Jacob growled, "Take your arm off of her…now." Embry glared, "What? Now you give a shit about her? You never did before. You're all about Bella remember?" I felt stuck in the middle of a testosterone fight. I didn't have a clue what was going on, maybe I was too sleep deprived.

Jacob shot up, "You know I can't control it." I jumped at the rising level of his voice. He seemed to notice he was upsetting me because he dialed it back down, "How'd you figure it out?"

"Embry's eyes…"

Jacob growled, "Of fucking course. So now she knows because of fucking Embry and Bella can't even figure it out." He ran his fingers through his cropped hair. "This is bullshit." He stormed back out of the house. My eyes widened but no one said anything. Sam followed Jacob got of the house.

"So what are you guys going to do?" Everyone had got to sleep but Embry had stayed up with me.

"No clue, only certain people know about us. Charlie didn't tell any of us about the search party so I don't think Sam has had any time to think of anything. He's had his hands full with Jacob phasing." I slumped lower on the couch where I was laying vertically with my feet in Embry's lap, "What do you mean?" He was playing with my pink anklet, it had ballet shoes, the letter A, and a feather charms on it.

"Well technically Jacob is supposed to be alpha of the pack because he's the grandson of the chief Ephraim Black. Jacob didn't want the responsibility so he passed it off to Sam." He shrugged. I chewed on my lip, "Who all knows about you guys?"

"The Elders: Billy Black, Harry Clearwater, and Old Quil. Why?" I was slowly forming an idea. I winced when I drew blood from gnawing on my lip.

"Harry is friends with my dad, so what if he offered to be part of the search party? He knows about you guys, he could cover the pack's tracks. He could make sure that no one got near you guys." I was playing with a loose strand of my shirt. Embry didn't say anything. I looked up nervously, "I understand if you think it's stupid…" I muttered. Embry started shaking his head and got up off the couch.

"Jacob doesn't deserve you. You're brilliant Abs, so fucking brilliant. I'm going to go talk to Sam; I'll be back in the morning okay? Get some rest girl. You did great." He threw me a smile before jogging out the back door. I didn't understand what Jacob had to do with anything but I felt content that maybe I had been some help to my new friends. I yawned and fell asleep on the couch.

My phone was ringing somewhere in the distance, I reached blindly on the floor and cracked my eye open to see my sister calling. I slid the green icon and put the phone to my ear, "Hello?" I knew I sounded exhausted.

"Where are you? Oh my god, Lynn, Jacob and Sam…they're all werewolves. Dad is about to go hunt them. We have to stop them, where are you?" She was talking hurriedly and didn't give me a chance before she said that I needed to meet her in La Push so we could talk to Jacob. She hung up the phone before I even had time to process anything. I lowered my phone and just stared at the screen. What the hell just happened?

Emily came down the stairs a few minutes later and smiled warmly at me, "How'd you sleep?" I threw my hair back into a bun and followed her into the kitchen to help start breakfast. She explained that she was kind of the 'mother wolf' and fed all of the guys. She also explained that they ate…. A lot.

"I slept okay, my sister just called me. Apparently I'm supposed to meet her here so we can war, Jacob about our dad's search party." Emily looked confused, "Doesn't she know where you are?" I shrugged, "She didn't give me time to explain, I imagine she'll figure it out when she realizes her truck is gone."

Emily giggled, "She's not very quick on the draw is she?"

The guys came bustling in the kitchen a little while later, after Emily and I cooked enough food to feed a medium sized army. My sister walked in with Jacob and she glared when she saw me. She stalked towards me and put her hands on her hips. "You took my truck. Why didn't you tell me you had figured it out already? We could have come down here together." She accused.

I sipped my coffee, "I wasn't really thinking of anything Bells, and I was more focused on telling them than I was telling you." I tried to be honest but I think it only made her more irritated.

She huffed, "I had to call Jacob and have him bring me down here. If you would have talked to me first I would have told you I have a plan about the search party." I was going to answer when Embry walked over and came to my defense.

"Your sister already did that too actually, Sam talked to Harry and he's going to be on the search party and lead them away from us." Sam came around and hugged Emily from behind; he kissed her cheek and then looked at me, "You're smart Abby. You did a great service for this pack, I won't forget that." I could feel my cheeks get very red.

Bella sat down in the kitchen chair, "So you killed Laurent?" she looked around the room. Embry smiled and boasted, "Yeah easy as pie." I laughed.

Jacob growled, "There's still a red headed leech dodging us, we can't figure out what she wants." He glanced at me almost worriedly. Bella froze and tugged at Jacob's arm to get his attention, "I know what she wants. She wants me." My sister whispered. She looked genuinely scared. I gripped her hand across the table.

"So she's after you because your leech killed her mate?" Jacob clarified.

"His name is Edward..." she glared. I just listened to their back and forth. I t was very obvious that Jacob did not like the Cullen's. Jacob growled, "Whatever, fine, Edward." She looked at him contently. Sure, everything was great when my sister was getting her way. Jesus, when did I become so bitter? I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts. My sister wasn't a bad person, but I kind of wanted to bitch at her for how she was acting with Jacob. It made me see her in a whole new light, I didn't like it. I was probably sleep deprived and slowly losing my mind to the supernatural, I loved my sister. She was a good person, I was defiantly going crazy.

Jacob had exiled Bella and I to his house while the pack ran the perimeter for Victoria, he wanted to make sure we were safe. The safest place for us was on the reservation. Harry was effectively leading the search party away from the Pack, so it gave them time to track down Victoria. Hopefully they'd catch her soon.

"He promised to take me cliff diving…" Bella moaned. I wanted to smack her. I loved my sister, but lately I had to keeping repeating that mantra in my head to keep from strangling her. The pressure was getting to everyone and it was driving me to insanity. I leaned forward on the floor in the butterfly stretch, "Well when everything is said and done I'm sure he'll take you." I tried to reason. I took deep breathes and tried to not let my annoyance seep into my voice.

"We should go now." Bella sat up from her place on the couch. I looked out of the window; it looked like there was a storm coming. "I don't know Bella, Embry said the waves can get pretty brutal."

"I don't care what your boyfriend says Abby." She snapped. We were all going to kill each other before Victoria ever could. This is what happened when you trapped everyone in close quarters without a break from each other. I rolled my eyes, "He's my friend, and I think he might be right. We should go when the weather calms down." Bella got up resolutely and shoved her feet back into her sneakers.

"I'm going…" I groaned and followed her out the door.

We reached the top of the cliffs and Bella was teetering on the edge. I wrapped my jacket closer to my body; the wind was strong enough to sway me sideways. "This wouldn't have anything to do with your hallucinations about Edward would it?" Bella turned back to look at me with the saddest pair of eyes I've ever seen. She looked ghastly, "You've never been in love Lynn. There's this hole in my body and it hurts so much sometimes I can't breathe. He's the other half of me. If you could do something to feel whole again, wouldn't you?" She took her jacket off and slipped her shoes off. She took a deep breath and looked down at the water.

She was right, I'd never been in love, and I had never gotten my heart broken. But if this was what love looked like, maybe I didn't ever want to fall in love. She gave me an ugly smile, "Here now you can feel my pain too." I looked at her confused before she grabbed my hand and fell over the edge of the cliff. I could hear my own terrified screams and the distant howl of pain from a wolf.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: When does it end?**

I don't think I've ever been this cold. It was nearing the end of October, a week before Halloween. The water frigid, the rough waves pulling me around like a ragdoll. I tried to kick to the surface but a wave swallowed me whole. I couldn't tell which way was up. I had lost sight of my sister in the murky water. I was so cold. My lungs were burning for oxygen, I was light headed. One of my irrational fears was always drowning; I didn't know how to swim. Every nightmare I had was coming true. I could feel myself losing consciousness.

"You don't get to die Abby; you don't get to die before we've even started. If you die, I die. Do you hear me?" There were warm hands pressing on my chest, I felt like they were slowly thawing me out from the outside in. I could feel water start making its way up my throat and I leaned over as I coughed up pints of salt water. My throat burned and my eyes felt raw. I blinked several times to focus in on Jacob Black's worried face.

He had carried me back to his house and started a fire in the fireplace in the living room. Embry brought Bella in two heartbeats later. She was awake and blue, her teeth were chattering and she looked worse for wear. I'm sure I looked no better. Jacob sat me on the couch and cuddled me close. "Are you okay?" He muttered against my hair. I nodded mutely. I was freezing but his insanely high body temperature was slowly thawing me out. I looked over at my sister, wrapped in a thick afghan in front of the fire. "What were you thinking? We could have been killed." My voice was cracked and hoarse. Bella narrowed her eyes at me, "I wanted to feel something Lynn. I wanted to feel something other than this awful pain and loneliness that I've been living with for months. I'm dead inside. I thought maybe if I saw him one more time I could let go, I could feel better." Her voice was full of repressed anger and sadness.

I struggled against Jacob's iron grip and glared at my sister, "Okay that doesn't explain why you dragged me down with you!" I tried to yell but my voice gave out. Jacob's grip left me completely and he jumped up faster than I thought possible.

"She did what?" Jacob was enraged. His voice was tight but extremely loud. He was shaking all over. He clinched and unclenched his fists repeatedly. "What the fuck were you thinking Bella?" If you die, I die. The words bounced around in my head, Jacob's words. He said if I died, he'd die. What did that mean? He loved my sister, in a creepy obsessive kind of way. But I wasn't judging. I gripped one of Jacob's hot trembling hands in both of mine, "Jake calm down, please." It was the first time I'd called him Jake, he took notice because his shaking stopped and he smiled down softly at me. He pulled me up and into his side; he kissed my forehead and sniffed my hair. "You smell like cucumbers, mint, coconut, and salt water." He snorted and kissed my forehead.

Bella looked at us a hard look crossing her face, "Oh not you too Jacob, every guy around here seems to be falling at Abby-Lynn's feet. You have no idea what it's like to lose something that means the world to you." She accused and skewered me with her eyes.

Jacob growled at her but I just walked up to stand nose to nose with my sister, someone I was starting to not even recognize. "I don't know what it's like to give up something that means the world to me? I gave up dance; I gave up something that I loved more than anything. I gave it up, willingly, for you. Because needed me. Ballet was the one thing that made breathing easier, the one thing that made being away from home worth it. I worked my ass off to get into that school. Hours upon hours in the library studying and practically living in the studio to perfect my audition piece. It was my life and I was going to make it my career. I had a shot at being accepted into the ballet trainee program at Joffrey's school of Ballet. It is the most competitive program out there that would put me on the fast track to being accepted into a professional company. My ultimate dream Isabella! Now I have to change my whole life's plan. Don't you dare say I don't know what it's like to give anything up." I was practically steaming with anger.

"It's not the same thing!" She screamed. "Like hell it isn't!" I yelled back. We were both head to head and glaring at each other. I'd never fought with my sister before and here I was, screaming at her with vigor. Maybe I didn't recognize myself anymore either.

"I wanted you to feel a quarter of the pain I feel right now, maybe then you'd understand me." She lowered her voice.

I shook my head, "I don't. I don't understand you; I don't understand how you could pick a boy over me. I'm your sister, your blood, and you chose a hallucination of the boy who left you over my safety. What kind of person does that? I'm your sister, doesn't that mean anything?" Everything was falling apart. She didn't say anything and looked over at Jacob, "I want to go home, take me home Jake." Jake looked frustrated and ran his hand through his hair, "I can't leave Abby Bella."

"Her or me Jacob. You can't have us both." She crossed her arms. I raised my eyebrows, when did I become an ultimatum? I'm 99% sure I didn't sign up for that.

"Are you seriously making me chose between you and your sister? Don't make me choice Bella, because it'll be her. It will always be her." Jacob answered honestly. It shocked me, but my sister never did give up easily.

"Then look me in the eye and tell me that you don't want me. Look me in the eye and tell me that you love her instead of me." Bella smirked. I looked back and forth between my sister whom I loved dearly but was starting to resent, and the boy who confused the hell out of me but also made me feel safe and warm.

"I can't do that, let's just go. I'll take you home Bella but that doesn't change anything." He kissed my head one last time. He grabbed Bella's keys and led her outside. It might not change anything to him; he might still believe that he'd choose me. But as far as I'm concerned he already made his choice. When he left with my sister, he'd chosen her. I wasn't sure I could come back from that. Because even if I couldn't sort out my feelings for Jacob Black, watching him walk out the door with my sister made my insides break into pieces.

 **Author's Note: Short chapter I know! I'm sorry. But next chapter is Bella running off to Italy and the Cullen's coming back so look out for the next chapter. xoxo Lottie**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Nobody's second choice**

I left Jacob's immediately and headed to Emily's; sure that's where I'd find Embry. I knocked and heard Sam's voice, "Come in." I opened the door to see Embry, Quil, and Paul eating popcorn and fruit. I walked up to Embry, "Tell me I'm good."

"What?" He looked confused and sat me down on the bench he was sitting on in front of the table, "What are you talking about Abs?" I took a deep breath and tried to fight back the frustrated tears that were threatening to fall, "Tell me I'm good and I deserve someone who will choose me. Tell me I shouldn't be someone's second choice."

Quil looked over at me, "What happened Abs? I heard Bella pulled you over a cliff."

"Are you okay?" Paul asked through a mouth full of popcorn. I shook my head and recounted the entire experience I was forced to endure, including Jacob walking out with my sister. Sam startled me by speaking first, frustration evident in his voice, "The fuck? I'm going to kill him!"

"I'll help." Embry cracked his knuckles. Paul and Quil chimed in with agreement as well. Paul and Embry looked my body over for cuts or any sign of damage from the water, Quil got me a mug of hot tea. It was amazing to see all these people coming to my defense and taking care of me, they barely knew me and they looked ready to go to battle for me. Sam looked me in the eye, "You're family Abby, and we take care of our family. We're all glad you're okay."

I had Embry drive me home, a black Mercedes was pulled into my driveway and Bella's truck was sitting out front. Embry cursed and looked at me, "If I told you to stay in the truck, would you?"

"Probably not..." He nodded, "Then you stay behind me, I mean it Abby." I nodded and hopped out of the truck.

I was met with golden eyes; I drew the conclusion that this was the infamous Alice Cullen Bella talked so much about. Bella was arguing with Jacob, "No just her, and she can stay as long as she likes." Embry went up and yanked Jacob back by his ear, I'd laugh if the situation didn't seem so dire. "What the fuck were you thinking Black? One of these days you're going to hurt her and she's not going to bounce back."

Jacob shook him off, "I have more important things to worry about, and Bella wants to go off to Italy with this leech to go save Edward. I can't just let her go." Embry shook his head, "Dumbass…"

"Bella can make her own decisions." I shocked everyone by speaking. Bella was busy writing out a note to our dad but my words stilled her. "If she wants to go, then let her." I was beyond done with everyone's bullshit, I wouldn't be Jacob's second choice, and I wouldn't let my sister dictate my life. I could feel myself harden, my eyes turning into steel. My sister wasn't my sister anymore and if she wanted to choose the Cullen's over her family then I'll be the last one to stop her.

Bella smiled at me gratefully, "Maybe we talk things through when I get back?" She sounded hopeful but I narrowed my eyes and walked up to stand close to her. Alice walked over closer to Bella, probably worried I was going to strangle my sister. Honestly, the thought had crossed my mind. Jacob and Embry both growled menacingly as Alice got closer to us both. I ignored everything but my sister, her brown eyes reminding me so much of my own.

"I'm saying go. Go because I could give a shit less if you ever came back. You burned a bridge with me today, and you'll probably never get that back. So go."

I turned around when I felt Jacob's hand on my arm, "I'm proud of you, you stood up for yourself." I ripped my arm away from him and glared, "I am standing up for myself, and I'm tired of being quiet. I won't be your consolation prize because my sister is choosing Edward. You choose me or you fucking loose me. You chose my sister, so whatever we could have had…it's fucking gone. I'm done letting you mess with my head Jacob Black. You hurt me, and I don't forgive easily. I give you everything I have or I leave and never look back, I work in extremes like that." I said dryly and stalked out of the house, I could practically see the younger, more innocent version of myself waving goodbye from the doorway. She looked sad, the woman who was walking out of the house was hard, cold, and void of emotion. I would never be who I was again; this had changed me for better or for worse. The people around me hadn't given me any choice, I guess in this world it was walk with sharpen cleats or get trampled.

Embry drove me to Emily's in silence; he thought it was too dangerous for me to stay at home. He was afraid Alice's scent would attract other vampires. I heard a tortured howl come from the woods line; I thought it was most likely Jacob. He had run away and phased mid-way to the woods after Bella left. I shook my head, he shouldn't have been surprised. To my sister, he was just a second choice. Much like I had become to him. So what? I was supposed to be the second choice girlfriend to his second choice boyfriend? I don't think so.

Embry pulled into Emily's driveway and she rushed out to greet us. As soon as I stepped out of the truck Emily's arms were wrapped around me. "You've been through so much; I don't even know how you're still standing." I wasn't quite sure either, now that I'd confronted all my demons, I felt hollow inside and so damn tired. I staggered into the house and fell on Emily's couch. Emily propped my head on a pillow and Embry draped a blanket over me. I felt like I could sleep for a thousand years. I wish I had never left California.

"Rise and shine Abby!" I could feel a body shaking me, I felt like I was waking up from a coma. "Whaa?" I opened my eyes and saw Quil jumping on the couch. "Get off…" I mumbled and sat up.

"You've been asleep for 72 hours straight." Embry walked into the room and ruffled my hair. "WHAT?!" I leapt off the couch and looked around for my shoes.

"Calm down…" Embry grabbed me by the shoulders and steered me towards the kitchen. "I'll tell you everything you've missed if you eat." My stomach chose that moment to grumble loudly. I grinned sheepishly and sat down in front of a plate. I filled it with the breakfast items that were available: eggs, grits, bacon, sausage, pancakes, waffles, and apple juice. I chose waffles, bacon, and some scrambled eggs. Embry poured me a glass of juice. I stuffed a giant bite of waffle in my mouth, "What'd I miss? Where's Bella? Is Edward alive? Are the Cullen's back?" I rapid fired off. Embry told me to take deep breathes and had me continue to eat.

"Bella's back home, The Cullen's all came back the next day. Charlie grounded Bella until God knows when, and she and Edward are back together. Everyone is flipping their shit because Bella has decided she wants to become a vampire after graduation."

"Jacob especially, he's fixating on the treaty, saying that changing Bella violates the treaty." Quil supplied helpfully. Embry gave him a dark look.

"I have to go home..." I mumbled. I grabbed my shoes and snatched Embry's keys from him. I really needed a car. "I have to go check on my dad." I explained to Embry and he let me go reluctantly.

"Dad?" I walked into the door. I heard a gruff 'in the living room' and I followed suit and hugged my dad on the couch.

"Did you have a nice time at Emily's?" I guess Embry told my dad where I was. I nodded and he kissed the top of my head. "Thanks for staying put kiddo. I don't know what I'd do without you. I love you kid." I inhaled my father's familiar scent. He was one of the positives of moving here, I had really missed him. I let him go and headed upstairs, I could hear Bella talking to someone in her room. I knocked on the door and walked in without waiting for her to respond. Edward sat on her bed beside her; I raised my eyebrows but didn't comment. I was 99% sure he was banned from the house but whatever. I was too tired to fight with her about it. Edward smiled at me, "Thank you for taking care of Bella while I was gone." I just stood in the doorway stoically. I had no idea how to respond to that, on one hand it was my job because she is my sister, on the other hand I shouldn't have to take care of her. Edward nodded like he understood my train of thought. I remember Bella saying something about Edward being able to read minds. Fabulous. I just shook my head, "I just came to see Bella was in one piece. She is, great. Okay." I turned to leave when Bella came up to grab my hand.

"Lynn please, you're my sister. I want us to be okay. Now that Edward agreed to change me I want to spend time with you while I can."

"If you marry me…" Edward interjected. Great, so now my sister was turning into a vampire and getting married. I crossed my arms, "So what? You think because you got your knight in shining armor back that everything is magically better? That everything you say to me magically goes away? You might have Edward and his family but you've damaged every other relationship in the process of loving him." I blew away the hair that had fallen in my face, "I mean it Bella, you've lost me, you hurt Jacob beyond repair, dad is furious with you, and the only relationship you have left is with the Cullen's. So you know I hope they're worth it because no one is going to come running for you when they leave again." I left the room and walked into my own, shutting the door loudly. I wanted to go back home, to California, to the dance studio. I missed my friends, and Madame La-Laree. Before I could delve more into those thoughts a knock came at my window. I looked down to see Jacob; he was throwing rocks at the window like a bad 80s movie. I opened the window, "What do you want?" I hissed.

"Move…" I was confused and moved away from my window. Three heartbeats later Jacob was standing in my bedroom wearing nothing but a pair of cut off shorts. No matter how much I might dislike him at the moment, I had to admit that the boy had a body. Rippling pectorals, wash board abs, a V with light hair trailing down into his shorts, he was sweating slightly and it glistened on his dark russet colored body. His hands were strong, and rough looking, I could imagine how they'd feel against my delicate skin. Like sandpaper against silk. His black cropped hair was messy and a few pieces were falling in his eyes, his lips were full and pink, he had high cheekbones and a strong chin. His eyes were boring into mine and I had to blink several times before I could look away. Stupid Jacob Black, he was hot but he was a jackass.

"I'm so sorry for everything Abby…" He held out his hands, palm up, trying to apologize. I just shook my head. "It doesn't matter, you made your choice." I looked at the floor.

"Abby…." He slowly walked closer to me, I walked backwards away from him, and he cornered me against the wall. He rested his elbows on either side of me and his face was so close to mine. "Sweet, sweet Abby….what pains you?" He ran one rough padded finger down the side of my face. I turned my face in the opposite direction. He was strong enough to keep there, in between his arms, like a prisoner. Our bodies up against each other and it felt nice to have a body to be close to. The warm fuzzy feeling had burst into flames in my heart and everything was different when I held a guy in my arms.

"No!" I shoved him back, tears leaking out my eyes like a faucet. Everything atom in my body begged me to pull him towards me, as close as we could get. There was a magnetic pull I couldn't deny. But my broken heart was stronger than any warm feeling he gave me.

He looked stunned at my outburst, backing away from me reluctantly, he eyes full of remorse. It was a look I was being too familiar with on Jacob Black. His eyes held remorse but his body still sinned. The look in his eyes meant nothing when it was the only way he could say sorry. "I know everything got so fucked up Abby. I'm so sorry, I just…I spent my whole life loving Bella and then you come along. I don't want to love you. I owe it to myself to do everything I can to fight for Bella." Ouch. He didn't want to love me. He didn't want to love me. He didn't want to love me.

"It's okay…" My voice was eerily calm. "You made your choice and it's okay if your choice isn't me." It was the truth. Sometimes we offer people chances hoping that they'll choose you, sometimes we offer people chances knowing that they never will.

"I never wanted there to be a choice." He answered quietly; I wasn't quite sure what he meant. He made it sound like he was unwillingly bound to me. It would hurt a lot less if he would make a clean break, if he wouldn't than I would.

"I think you should leave now, I think you should go." I tried to corral him back towards the window. As he got ready to jump back down, I grabbed his arm, "I just have one question…"

"Anything…"

"Why do you still love her?" I asked him.

"She used to call me her own personal sun. But she's like the sun in my world, and without a sun there's no way to survive." He jumped down.

I wanted to say something.

"I'm sorry" or perhaps "fuck you." I wanted to say, "I let you in and you abused that position of trust." But no no no. I wanted to say, "kiss me please please, we can forget everything."

Or maybe, maybe I just wanted to say, "I forgive you. You're not sorry but I still forgive you."

 **Author's Note: BOOM! Chapter 6, Abby might be getting a backbone yet. At this point she's either going to find herself or lose herself.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Wear a backbone, not a wishbone**

Bella had missed Harry's funeral, instead of supporting our dad she had run off to Italy. Leah and Seth were still out of commission from phasing either this week. I looked down at the acceptance letters scattered on my bed. There were five letters total: UGA, CWU, NYU, Reed and UTK. I only really wanted to attend Reed. Portland Oregon wasn't too far from home. Since Bella had gotten her acceptance letter to University of Alaska, I figured it was my duty to stay at least somewhat close to our father. I knew Bella wasn't really going to college; it was a cover story so she could go become part of the coven of the undead. Bella and I would be splitting for good soon; I didn't know how to feel about that. As of right now it was just dad and I, Bella was in Florida with Edward visiting our mom Renee.

I sighed at my reflection; Paul was picking me up soon to go to Emily's. I wanted to be there for Leah. She had to be in hell right now, and I wanted to check in on Seth. Although I'm almost positive that he would think this was the coolest thing ever.

My cheeks were starting to sink in, my collarbone was jutting out, and my hipbones could double as doorknobs. I was fast losing weight from all the stress. My pink-blonde hair hung in limp strands down my back and my complexion was paler than normal. I looked like hell. I rubbed my eyes; I had dark bags under them. I brushed my hair so it was perfectly straight and my bangs covered some of my eyes, hopefully taking attention off the dark shadows. I slipped into a new pair of jean shorts, the weight loss causing me to go from a size 2 to a size 0. I paired them with a pale pink V-neck and white Keds. I slipped black ray-bans over my eyes and walked downstairs. I waited outside for Paul, since it was May the weather was finally starting to warm up. It was Friday, Bella and Edward left this morning. Dad wasn't happy he was going with her but she's technically an adult, what could he do? I breathed in the fresh air and closed my eyes. Hopefully the guys could get off patrols for a little bit and we could all go to the beach, Emily and I have been dying to go.

Paul honked the horn of his Mustang, his baby, and smiled at me behind the wheel. I slid in and Paul looked over at me, "You look like hell Little Swan." I rolled my eyes at the nickname. He and Jared both referred to Bella and me as 'Big Swan' and 'Little Swan' despite us being the same age. I was smaller, shorter, and more petite.

"Thanks so much LaHote." I muttered although I knew he was right. When we got to Emily's I smiled when I saw Embry's wolf form come out of the tree line. He was my best friend. I turned to Paul, "How are Seth and Leah?" Paul groaned, "She's such a bitch. She's purposely making all of us miserable. I get it, Sam hurt her, but now she's forcing everyone to live through it over and over again." I shook my head; I don't think anyone understood how much pain Leah was in right now. The love of her life was now inside her head every time she phased, and she had to hear his thoughts on the love of his life. It sucked when the person you loved no longer loved you back. I figured it was indefinably worse to know that at one point Sam had loved her versus had he never loved her. She loved him almost as much as Emily did and almost is the worse way to love someone.

"So insensitive…" I muttered and met Embry in the middle of Emily's front yard. "Where's Leah?" He motioned over to the trees where a white wolf was laid on the ground. I ruffled the top of Embry's grey head and walked towards her. She growled as I approached and backed herself up against a tree. I held my hands up in a surrendering position and lowered myself to the ground in front of her. "I know you're hurting, I'm not here to apologize or pity you. I know you don't want that." Her body slowly relaxed and she came over to rest her head on my knee. I ran my fingers threw her fur, "You're strong Leah, you're going to get through this. I'm right behind you, cheering you on." Leah yelped happily and I smiled. She was the only other girl, besides Emily, that I hung out with regularly. I just wanted to see her happy. She trotted off and came back on two legs. She held her hand out and pulled me up, "Thanks Abs…"

"Anytime…" Another wolf, a light brown color, came bounding out. His happy care-free demeanor immediately let me know that this wolf was Seth. He saw me and jumped up to put his giant paws on my shoulders, his version of a hug. I laughed and he licked my face, I was right he was beyond thrilled with this.

I walked into Emily's house and helped her fix lunch. "Where's your sister?" Emily was kneading dough on the counter. "Florida…" I answered as I made homemade lemonade. There was nothing better than lemonade in the summer. I turned my head to see Jacob and Embry talking on the back porch.

"Everyone gets along with her; she's infiltrated the pack easily. You guys all have a great relationship with her, I want that." Jacob sounded so….broken.

"Then maybe you should stop fucking around with her sister." Embry growled.

"I never wanted this fucking imprint, you know that." Imprint? What did that mean?

"Well now you have one, and you're going to break her. She's already different…harder. This life is taking its toll on her, she's so much thinner. She's harder now; she's supposed to be able to lean on you. We all have a great relationship with her because you don't. We're doing everything we can to make sure she's okay since she doesn't have you to do it. We all love her, she's an imprint, and she belongs with us. You're making this hell for everyone and it doesn't have to be. It should have been anyone else but you." I could see Embry ranting.

"Who do you mean? You?" Jacob stepped up threateningly to Embry. They were chest to chest and shaking. I dropped the lemon I was squeezing and walked outside without thinking. I stepped in between both of them and tried to push them away from each other. "Stop! I know you're fighting over me." I glared, "And I don't want to know why…" I added when Embry opened his mouth. "Just stop it, you guys are pack brothers. You need each other." I flicked both their ears, "I'm not a fucking referee…" I grumbled on my way inside. I heard Embry laugh.

I don't think it's possible to get over some things, they change you too much - shake you up until all your bones are disjointed. No matter how long you spend putting yourself back together it won't be the same as before.

You can't really protect yourself from it either because a lot of the daggers come from inside. You'll spend so much time putting on armor against the world you'll forget how much damage you can do to yourself.

Everything was about to change…again.

I was sitting cross-legged on the floor playing checkers with Emily. The guys had gone out to hunt down Victoria. A loud bam resounded throughout the house and I looked up, Paul was livid. Emily went up to Sam quietly and I went in search of Embry. I squeezed Paul's shoulder on my way out and he smiled at me gratefully, "Thank you for not being a leech lover."

I found Embry outside with Quil, Seth, Leah, and Jared. "What happened?" I asked no one in particular. They were all arguing and stopped when I asked what happened. Embry came over and hugged me tight; he kissed the top of my head. All the guys seemed to like to do that, I think it was because I was so short. "Emmett crossed the treaty line and knocked into Paul. It was about to be war I swear Abs. Everyone was so pissed. That breaks the treaty, Carlisle and Jasper had to talk everyone down."

"The only reason it worked is because that leech can manipulate our emotions." Jared said resentfully. I'm sure that was true, I'm also sure Paul would have torn Emmett into shreds.

"I bet Sam is really mad." I said into Embry's chest.

Leah snorted, "No shit." I shoved her and she laughed.

It was the last day of classes, the beginning of June. May had passed with little interruption. The pack was still chasing Victoria and she kept invading both them and the Cullen's. Jacob and I were still on nonspeaking terms, Leah and I began attached at the hip, the rest of the pack treated me like a little sister, and Angela and I won best duo at the dance competition in Seattle. Bella had come back home from Florida and had since been going back and forth between Jacob and Edward. We rarely spoke.

Angela and I walked out of the building, "Freedom!" Angela yelled and twirled in a circle in the parking lot. When we had first met Angela was quiet and mousy, dance had given her an outlet and really brought her out of her shell. She had gotten accepted into CWU as well. We were talking about going to college together and joining their dance team. She was my one normal friend and I loved her dearly. I smiled, high school was finally over. I turned to find my sister since she was still my ride to and from school. I really needed to invest in car before college. Jesus. I spotted Bella in between her two favorite men: Edward and Jacob. "I gotta go Ang…" I muttered and jogged over towards my sister.

Jacob was leaning against one of the motorcycles that he and Bella had restored so long ago. He was wearing a tight fitted black V-neck with grease stained jeans and black work boots. He looked every bit the bad boy on campus. He was also undeniably gorgeous. I could see Edward smirk from amusement. Get the hell out of my head. He shook his head. Sigh, stupid telepath. He laughed. If I didn't hate him on principle, I think I would have liked him. I personally had nothing against vampires, though I'd never admit that in front of the pack. I just figured that they were just as dangerous as shape-shifters, look at Emily's face. They each had their own demons to handle and they both did it well. The Cullen's didn't drink human blood and the pack kept a good handle on their tempers. Two sides to the same coin, no matter how much they want to deny it.

Edward did look at me then, he looked mildly shocked. I guess he supposed I shared the same views as my friends, but that wasn't the case. He gave me a genuine smile and I half him a half smile in return. I think we had reached a mutual respect for each other.

Jacob was trying to inform Bella, again, about the treaty. Then dropped the bomb on why Edward really wanted her out of the Forks the weekend they went to Florida. Bella was livid and before I knew it, my ride home was hopping on the back of Jacob's motorcycle and riding off. Well shit.

"I could give you a ride home if you like." Edward offered politely. I raised my eyebrow, "Bella is the love of my….existence. You are an extension of her. We will protect you just as fiercely as we protect her. Although I think you have enough protection with Jacob's friends." He smirked. I controlled my life; I could make my own decisions. I nodded.

"You're not so bad." I whispered in his Volvo on the way to my house. As it turned out we had ve4ry similar taste in music, classical. We both played the piano and he was just as cynical as I was. We could have been friends in a past life.

"You are very nice Abby-Lynn, you are both very much like and very different from your sister." He looked over at me, "I'm glad you don't hate us. I hope you will learn to forgive Bella." I figured we would get to this eventually. I chose to replay his absent months in my head.

"She's changed so much…." I whispered, my eyes still squeezed tight. "I miss my sister, and she hasn't been my sister in a while."

"I could talk to her." He offered and I was surprised, he didn't automatically jump to Bella's defense. "I am old enough to realize when someone is wrong Abby-Lynn even if it is the person I love." He reasoned. Well then.

"If she'll listen to anyone, it'll be you." I told him honestly, "Thanks for the ride Edward." I waved goodbye as we pulled into my driveway and I got out of the car.

Bella didn't stay mad I assumed, since I heard her talking softly to someone in her bedroom. II could hear her voice, "She doesn't understand anything Edward…." I knew Edward could speak at a decibel I wouldn't be able to hear, but he also knew I was listening.

"I think she might understand more than you think." He said clearly. "She's your sister love, you need her."

"I just need you…" I heard her pathetic whimper. Right then I swore I would never become dependent on anyone. I wouldn't become my sister; I would never need a man.

 **Author's Note: I'm on a roooooll. Anyway, I'm glossing over a lot because everything is pretty trivial and focused around Bella before the Battle. The next chapter will be the graduation party and graduation itself. xoxo, Lottie**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Graduation day**

I'd been staying at Leah's since the clothes incident. A vampire had been in Bella's room, took some of her things that had her scent on them. The strangest thing had been that the smell had carried into my room as well. What would a vampire want with me? Bella ran with them, I didn't. Needless to say, Embry and Jacob lost it. When I was in danger I was all Jacob cared about, any other time he was all about my sister. Embry was yelling at Edward, he should have caught this. He yelled at Jacob, he should have been watching over me. Jacob had caught the scent and now the whole Pack was on red alert, this vampire had threatened one of their own: me.

It was bittersweet to have my sister at the bonfire that was last Sunday. We should have been sitting together, listening to the legends and exchanging glances only we knew what they meant. When we were little we had made up our own language, so we could talk to each other without anyone else knowing. It was sad to think of what we were and what we are now. Now she was sitting beside Jacob and I was across the fire with Embry, Seth, and Leah. She never even looked at me.

Bella was being shuffled between the Cullen's and Jacob for her safety, the Pack had me on lock down in La Push. Leah told dad that I was staying with her to study for finals. We both had French. I'd already taken my English, Math, and Science finals. I just had French and History left. Leah and I were going over French when I felt it.

To eat? Manger

To love? Aimer

To live? Vivre

Can I have French fries? Puis-je avoir des frites

"Leah something's wrong." I cut her off before she got to the next flashcard. My heart was beating fast and at an irregular pace. My vision was getting blurry and it felt like I was hearing everything from far away. I blinked but it did nothing for my vision. "Abby? Abby, can you hear me? What's wrong? Abby!" Leah's voice was getting softer and softer. My eyes closed on their own accord and my breathing was disturbingly slow. I didn't even feel my body slip off the couch and convulse on the floor.

"Abby-Lynn….sweetheart." I groaned. I could hear Sue's voice and feel something cold on my forehead. I opened my eyes to see five worried faces surrounding me: Seth, Leah, Sue, Embry, and Emily. "Wha-what happened?" Leah wrung her hands together. "We were going over French and then you just faint and then fell to the floor. As soon as you hit the floor you started seizing. I didn't know what to do, I called mom from the hospital." I was lying on Seth's bed. Before I could ask anything else Emily's cell phone rang.

"He did WHAT?" Emily never yelled, or cursed. She was the mellowest person I knew. Her behavior was made even stranger when she grabbed Leah's arm and hauled her out of the room. It was nice to see Leah was putting aside her feelings for her cousin because of me, but I didn't know how she'd react to having to be one on one with her.

"This is bullshit, since he won't tell her. I will. He could have killed her." Leah growl I was much more accustomed to as they both came back into the room. Leah walked right up by me and sat down on the bed, "There's something you need to know Abs..."

"It's not your place Leah..." Embry said wryly. "She deserves to know." She shot back. Embry simply nodded.

"Jacob imprinted on you." And then everyone began explaining to me what being an imprint was.

"What does that have to do with me passing out?" I would process being Jacob's imprint later.

Emily interjected, "He kissed Bella, and he was unfaithful to the imprint so it hurt you. It caused you to get sick. It happened to me when Sam was fighting our imprint with Leah." I think a saw a small bridge being formed between Emily and her cousin. Good, we all needed each other.

"Jour de l'obtention du diplôme…" I sighed. It was finally graduation day. I woke up back at home so dad could take both his girls to the high school. All the Cullen's and the entire pack would be coming, the latter only coming because of me. The box at the foot of the bed was the first thing I saw when I came back upstairs with a mug of fresh coffee. I picked the card off the top.

 _Abby-Lynn,_

 _I got Bella something to wear for graduation so I thought it only fair I give you something as well. I saw us becoming the best of friends, though you will be closer with Rosalie oddly enough. Edward told me about what you think of us, you are a very nice soul Abby-Lynn._

 _You love it,_

 _Alice Cullen_

Huh, well that's interesting. I never told anyone in the pack about my ride home with Edward, I didn't want to rock the boat any more than it already was. I figured it unnecessary. I suppose I wouldn't be able to hide this from them though. I opened the box curiously and gasped, it was beautiful. Alice was right, I loved it. It was my favorite color, ballet pink. I t was dyed to match my hair perfectly. It was a high-low with an empire waist tied with a black bow. The top was chiffon and the bottom was shear and flowy. A pair of black designer heels was at the bottom of the box. Alice had really out done herself. I spent my time doing my makeup, making sure my wings were both even on my eyes, and my smoky eye wasn't too smudged. I glided pale pink gloss across my lips and rubbed them together. I put on an extra coat of mascara and started in on my hair. I was slowly gaining back weight and my face and hair looked healthier for it. I curled my hair, it felt in soft ringlets down to my waist and I slid a black silk headband on behind my bangs. I put black hoops in my ears and pink bangles on my wrist. I slipped my feet into the heels and looked at myself in the floor length mirror hanging on the back of my door. I cleaned up pretty well, a pastel doll with wide brown eyes reflected back at me. I was supposed to be Jacob's perfect match; we were destined to be together. I looked amazing and it didn't matter. It would never matter how great I looked because he would always prefer my sister. But fuck him, I looked hot. I smirked in the mirror and pasted by Bella's room on my way downstairs.

I paused to peak me, she kept stabbing herself with the wand of her mascara. She wasn't even dressed yet and we had to leave in an hour. I sighed and walked in without thinking.

"Here let me do it before you go walk across the stage looking like you have pink eye." She looked up at me surprised, me being taller than her for once. She handed me the wand wordlessly. I tilted her face and put mascara on her flawlessly. I was good with makeup because of dance; I had to learn how to put on stage makeup. I riffled through her makeup bag and finished her makeup myself.

"The dress Alice gave you looks really good Lynn." She tried feebly. I just shook my head and turned her to face her vanity mirror. She gasped, "Oh Lynn wow, you made me look so beautiful." I felt so old as I looked at my sister, she was getting the life she always wanted and I was stuck with whatever life I could scrap up after she destroyed mine. To be fair, I had my hand in destroying my life; I was the one who came here to begin with.

"You've always been beautiful Isabella, makeup just enhances it." I talked quietly, too damn tired to fight anymore.

"Who told you that?" She got up as I motioned for her to slip into the dress I was holding out. It matched mine but in a beautiful light blue color. It reminded me of when we were little, mom loved to dress us like twins. "My dance teacher Madame La-Laree, she was like my second mother." I answered fondly, I would have to call her and tell her how I was doing. I zipped Bella's dress up and helped her into her heels.

"I'm going to fall." She said to her feet as she grabbed her bed post tightly.

"I won't let you fall…" I said automatically. She looked at me and burst into tears.

"Oh Lynn I'm so sorry, I was such a bitch to you. I was hurting and I brought you down with me, you didn't deserve that. Even Edward said that you did nothing to deserve how I treated you. You were just so…happy. I envied that, I felt like since I wasn't happy what right did you have to be happy? I was so wrong. You've been nothing but a fantastic sister to me. You are so selfless and bubbly, you just radiate goodness. People naturally gravitate towards you. I was jealous of you, I was jealous if how Jacob looked at you when he was the only thing keeping me alive, I was jealous that the pack accepted you in a way they never accepted me. I was jealous that you forged a relationship with Angela so easily. I was just so jealous of you Lynn. You came over and took my life. Or at least, that's how I saw it at the time." Bella looked so uncomfortable.

What was I supposed to say? That everything was forgiven? That every hurtful thing she ever said to me was magically erased? I felt like I was drowning and gasping for air at the same time. I couldn't look her in the eyes, for fear of her seeing the monster she had made me.

We would talk for hours about absolutely nothing. We would laugh until we couldn't breathe. We could fight and scream until our voices were hoarse and throats scratchy. Nothing we ever did was simple. Our love was the purest form, the love you had for your family. She was my other half, she was my sister. She had been my built in best friends for years. We had turned into something ugly, we were family and we barely spoke. If I had any hope of surviving this insane supernatural world, I might just need my sister to do it. I had Leah and I had Emily, hell I even had Embry but no one knew me better than Bella. I didn't trust her, and I was still mad at her, but I felt like something big was about to happen, and we all needed to lean on each other.

"I forgive you, you don't deserve it, but I forgive you." Bella clung to me like a child.

"I think I know what Victoria is doing…" I had Bella sit down so I could do her hair before we left. "What do you mean?" I plugged in the curling iron.

"Jacob said the killings were in Seattle were by vampires. Then a vampire comes in and gets our scents? I think they're all connected, I think Victoria is creating an army."

"A newborn army…" I accidentally burnt myself with my iron as it dropped from my hand and onto the bare top of my foot where the heel didn't cover. "Ouch! Damn it…"

I finished curling Bella's hair and pinned two braided pieces across her head to make a headband out of her own hair. We walked hand in hand downstairs to find Edward, Embry, and our dad with a camera waiting for us. Charlie took lots of pictures, and Embry looked proud. He came over and hugged me tight, "I'm so proud of you Abs…" I whispered 'thanks' quietly.

Graduation went by without a hitch and without a word from Jacob. We all headed to the Cullen's house where the graduation party was being held. Bella had told Edward what we had figured out on the way to the house; he was tense and quiet the rest of the way. The party was in full swing by the time we got there. Angela came up and hugged me, "We did it! CWU here with come!" We had gotten assigned to the same dorm room last week and we were already packing to go. We twirled in a circle for a minute before I spotted Jacob, Embry, and Quil. I excused myself from Angela and walked over the same time Bella did. I hugged Embry and Quil. "I didn't think you guys would come." Embry hugged me again, "Jacob needed someone to keep him in line." Quil punched me lightly, "You didn't think we'd leave you alone with a room full of leeches did you?" I smiled.

Jacob looked over at me, "You look beautiful Abby." I rolled my eyes, "flattery will get you nowhere Black." He looked dejected. We had attracted the attention of the rest of the Cullen's and Alice had a vision and froze. Jasper and Carlisle surrounded her, she focused back in, and "They're coming here…" she whispered. I gripped Quil's hand as we made our way to Carlisle's office.

"How are newborns different from all of you?" Jacob crossed his arms over his chest. In that moment, he looked exactly like an alpha. His feet his planted firmly apart and his crossed arms made his chest appear bigger. He gave off pure testosterone and power. He seemed to get taller as he commanded answers from Carlisle. It turned out Jasper was the expert on newborn vampires. He answered all of Jacob's questions.

"We're in…" Jacob decided with finality while Quil and Embry nodded.

"It'll be dangerous…." Bella pleaded. I stayed shockingly silent.

"At least we'll get to kill some vampires…" Jacob smirked. He looked down at me and his look set me on fire. Pure protectiveness and lust.

 **Author's Note: Chapter 8. Comment, Lottie**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: You're my beginning and end**

"Do you like the bracelet that Jake made me?" That bracelet was the bane of my existence. Seriously, if I was supposed to be his imprint why is he giving her sweet gifts? Oh right, he doesn't want me. "It's great Bella."

"It should be yours you know." She said matter-of-factly. I raised my eyebrow. She hurried on, "I mean you are his imprint, you two are going to be together it's only a matter of time." She shrugged. Huh, I guess she was on my side now. "You're his perfect match."

Perfect match my ass.

We were getting dressed to head over to the Cullen's; it was the first training session between the wolves and the Cullen's. Sam had agreed to a truce with them, so they could fight side by side when the newborns came to Forks. We only had a few days. I pulled my hair into a ponytail, something I never did, and let side pieces and bangs fall out. I put on a black T-shirt, black skinny jeans, and black combat boots. I tied a black ribbon in my ponytail and walked downstairs. Bella stifled a laugh behind her hand, "What the hell are you wearing Lynn?" Edward shook his head laughing. I frowned and looked at my clothes, "It's my battle outfit. I'm a ninja." I stuck my tongue out and finished bouncing down the stairs. "You two go ahead, I'm going to have Leah come pick me up. I'm staying with her tonight since you two are going to be at Edward's and doing…things I'm pretty sure I don't want to think about." I shuttered. Edward laughed loudly on my way out the door. I texted Leah and she said she'd be here in ten. Edward and Bella went ahead and left and I waited outside on the stoop. Dad had gone over to Billy's to watch the football game.

"Come on girl, we're burning daylight!" Leah yelled from the driver's window, her radio blaring 'Machine Gun Kelly'. I recognized the song 'Swing Life Away' with Kellin Quinn from Sleeping with Sirens, her favorite band. Seth was in the backseat, and I slid into the passenger seat. I threw my duffel bag in the bag with Seth and Leah turned up the radio as she backed out of the driveway. "I came from nothing but fucking unsupportive father." Seth and I rapped while Leah drove laughing. It felt good to just let go for a few minutes and be normal. We weren't two shape-shifters and an unwanted imprint; we were just three teenagers goofing off. It was brief but it was beautiful.

"…never go for the obvious kill, they'll be expecting that." Jasper lectured. He looked exactly like his past persona: Major Whitlock from the Texas Calvary and Confederate Army. I was impressed with the way he commanded everyone's attention. I sat with the wolves, Sam had opted them out of fighting so they were merely watching, as Bella sat close with Jacob. Bella looked worried for her adoptive family, I thought they all looked bad ass. I looked down at the sketch pad in my arms. Nobody wanted me home alone, so I tagged along with my sister. I knew I wouldn't be doing anything so I brought my sketch pad and charcoal sticks. It was a secret hobby of mine, I loved to draw. I was sketching my sister and Jacob, the way he curled around her happily and protective. I sketched the faraway look in her eyes and the way her hand absentmindedly stroked Jacob's fur. I looked down at the rough draft of my picture. If someone else were looking at the picture it would be easy to mistake my sister for me. Since the picture was black, there was no color to distinguish between her and me. For one moment I let my mind wander, where I was the girl curled around Jacob.

I shook my head and starting shading. Leah had gotten a kick out of my outfit, and I drew the girl in the picture with combat boots.

"Engaged?" I repeated as Bella flashed me her engagement ring. We were walking around the clearing where Alice saw the battle starting. The idea was to spread our scents around to drive the newborns in the exact place we wanted them. It was both Jacob's and Edward's idea, a smart one I'd admit. I cut my hand with the knife I was carrying without flinching and spreading my blood on any nearby rocks and branches. I smiled over at my sister and Edward,

"Congratulations." Jacob is going to go ballistic. I added silently for Edward, he nodded grimly. I was glad my sister was getting her happy ending, but I knew it was going to kill Jacob. The idea that Jacob would be hurting soon killed me, I cursed the imprint for forcing me to care for him. I'll be damned if it makes me love him too. I'd never give my heart to him only for him to drop it carelessly.

"You're very cynical." Edward observed. I gave him the finger and continued my path until we made it back to the clearing. Jacob and Embry were waiting for us; I noticed Bella hid her ring in her pocket. Embry would carry me and Jacob would carry Bella, their scents would cover ours. We were staying at a campsite a little ways away from the battle. "I can't believe you convinced Edward to stay behind with us. You need to tell me your secret." We giggled like school girls, Bella had Edward wrapped around her pinky finger. I ran up and jumped on Embry's back, "Ready to go…" He laughed and turned to face me. "Hey Abs…" He hitched his hands under my thighs and hoisted me higher on his back. Jacob picked Bella gracefully up bridal style. I got a twinge in my heart but I forced a hard smile on my face. We walked through the forest until we got to the campsite; two tents were set up side by side. The fight was to take place in the morning; it was cold but not freezing yet. Embry set me down and hugged me, his body heat I readily welcomed. Jacob set Bella down and they went off to talk. Edward would come up a little bit later after we helped his family. I looked up from under Embry's arms, "Promise me you'll be okay Bry…" I bit my lip and closed my eyes. The idea of any of my wolves getting hurt made me want to pull my hair out and scream. They were my family, my adopted family. I loved every single one of them. Embry and Leah were my best friends, Seth was my little brother, Jared and Paul were my big brothers, and Sam was like my second dad. I wouldn't survive if they got hurt.

I felt Embry's hands whipping away traitor tears, "We're all going to be okay Abs, okay? We were made for this." I nodded. "Come on, no more sad talk. I have a few more hours before I have to get back."

"Why are you doing this to me?" I panted, holding the stitch in my side. "Keep your hands up!" Embry replied and got a light punch to my right temple. I groaned. To kill time Embry thought it was a great idea to teach me how to defend myself.

"It's a great idea, given the situation." He had defended.

Jacob growled every time Embry's fists touched me, finally he got up from his sitting position next to Bella as our audience and stepped between us, "That's enough Embry." Embry rolled his eyes. "Calm down Jake, I would never hurt her. Are you okay Abs?" Embry nodded at me in question.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I groaned in response. Embry laugh and bounced lightly on the balls of his feet, "Don't you think it's about time you earned your nickname 'Abs'?" He jabbed the air twice like he was Mike Tyson. I giggled; I knew he was trying to take my mind of off what was going to happen soon. I was very thankful for him.

"Alright, let's go." I put my hands back up and landed a surprise kick against his ribs. He had to constantly remind me not to put much power behind my blows because I'd only wind up hurting myself. Like Bella when she punched Jacob.

A howl pierced the air and Seth's wolf form entered our little oasis. That meant it was Embry's time to go. He smiled at me apologetically and hugged me tight one last time. "Please be safe…" I whispered to the air as he left. Jacob looked at me, "Why are you so worried about him?" I looked at him like he was stupid, "Why is Bella worried about Edward?" I knew it was the wrong thing to say as soon as the words left my mouth. Jacob's entire frame started shaking, his growl broke through the cold and his body was blurring between human and wolf.

"You love him?" He ground out between clinched teeth. Edward came to stand in front of me protectively, "You need to calm down Jacob or you'll hurt her."

"Get away from her leech!" Jacob screamed. He looked ready to kill. I think everything has gotten him wound too tight.

"It's okay Edward…" I moved out from behind him and approached Jacob cautiously. Emily told me her story; I knew how her face got to be the way it was. I was heading to the same fate, but I didn't stop walking until I right in front of him. I was his imprint, which means if anyone had any shot at calming him down it would be me. I put one hand on each of his cheeks, "Not like that Jake, okay? I love him but I'm not in love with him. He's my best friend…nothing more. Okay? Look at me. We're just friends." The last thing I needed was for Jacob to kill Embry during battle and then blaming it on a newborn. I heard Edward laughing at the image I pictured.

Jacob slowly stopped shaking and wrapped his arms tightly around me, he took deep breathes full of my hair. "Mine…" he growled out softly. He was inhaling my scent. I wasn't entirely sure now was the time to remind him that I was most certainly not his, but one look at Edward's shaking head, I stayed quiet. I let him rock me side to side until he was completely calm and then ducked out of his embrace. I would help him, but that was it. I just being a good person, no I most defiantly did not like how it felt being in his arms.

I was curled around Seth at the opening of my tent, Bella and Edward in the one next to me. Seth was majorly bummed that he was put on watch duty versus out in the fight but he was slightly happier when he found out I would be there. He was currently keeping me warm since the sun had gone down. It had gotten indefinably colder, I was wearing three layers. Emily made sure I packed extra thick clothes and she loaded me down with hot coffee and tea and extra heavy wool blankets. She was going to be a great mom someday. Bella on the other hand, didn't pack nearly enough clothes to keep her warm. I could hear her shivering from over here. I shook my head at Seth. I was lucky I had Emily…and Seth. I ran my fingers through his fur. I made sure to keep the tent flap open so Seth was still outside and standing guard, while still being curled around me and blocking the frigid cold wind.

Jacob came up from over the cliffs and made his way over to me. He crouched in front of me, and looked confused when Seth growled at him. His fur was standing on end; everyone knew Jacob was on my shit list. Jacob frowned and regarded me, "Are you okay? Are you warm enough?" I nodded my head, "You better go save the day with my sister though, she's freezing and Edward isn't much help with that." When he went into her tent I got the insane urge to stab him in the heart with an ice sickle, would it melt before it hit his heart? If not it would be the perfect murder, the murder weapon would melt and leave no evidence. My night had come down to imagining killing Jacob Black for doing something I do him to do.

Just because this was for the best, didn't mean it didn't hurt like hell.

 **Author's Note: I want to say a BIG thank you to: griezz. You're awesome! I'm splitting this chapter into two parts. I'm on break from Uni for another week and half so I'm trying to turn out as many chapters as possible until then. This story is slowly coming to an end and another wolf's story is going to begin. But don't worry several chapters before the epilogue. Next chapter is the battle. Cheers, Lottie**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Let the battle begin**

I had to spend the night knowing that the guy I was destined to spend forever with was cuddling my sister.

I woke up to yelling. I was half in the tent and half on top of Seth. "Jacob wait!" I could make out my sister's voice from my half-wake state.

"You're engaged to the leech?" I could defiantly identify Jacob's angry, hurt, accusation. Well, I guess he found out. Bella pleaded with him to stay but I opened my eyes just in time to see Jacob storm off. I scrambled out of the tent and pulled my hair into a sloppy bun, "Where is he going?" The battle was set to begin at any minute, he was hurt and angry, and he could get hurt. Bella was crying, "He found out about the engagement, he went off the handle."

"Well what did you expect? He's in love with you." Bella shook her head, "I thought he'd be okay because he had you." I rolled my eyes, "Fuck imprints, he doesn't want me."

I walked up to stand in front of Edward and poked his chest, "You go and you bring him back. Apparently, according to legends, I can't live without him. So go bring him back and make sure he doesn't get himself killed." Edward saluted me and ran off. I nodded; well at least someone listened to me around here. Bella did well.

Jacob came back begrudgingly but sneered at Bella, "Don't expect me to stay behind like your little leech. Maybe I'll go get myself killed, and then you won't have to feel responsible for me." The thought of him dying was unbearable. I couldn't breathe. Bella and Jacob were arguing back and forth, I couldn't think straight.

"Kiss me." At first I wasn't even aware that it was me who had spoken. The words felt foreign on my tongue. Everyone stopped talking, and Jacob turned slowly to look at me. "What did you say?" I told a deep breath and opened my eyes; I looked into Jacob's warm brown eyes and repeated myself, "Kiss me." He walked over to me and held my face delicately in his warm too big hands, "You're asking me to kiss you?" He smirked a little bit but his eyes were wide in disbelief. I didn't quite believe I was saying this either, just, the thought of him dying and having never kissed him seemed absurd. It seemed almost unbearable, it felt wrong.

I cocked my side and rested my hip on my left jutted out hip, I was calling the shots here not him. I was keeping the upper hand, "No I'm not." His face fell and he moved to step back. I backed his step backward with my own step forward, not letting any space between our bodies. "I'm your imprint, and I'm telling you to kiss me. Kiss me Jacob Black…before I change my mind."

He didn't need any more prompting, his lips crashed against mine. His look alone could make me feel an adrenaline rush, as if I was high on him. I consumed him like a drug, inhaling and exhaling, feeling warmth whenever he was around. Feeling like I was secure and safe. He did this, he made me feel whole. His lips were hot against mine, we moved in rhythm his tongue darting out to trace my bottom lip, and I granted him entry immediately. Our tongues fought for dominance, mingling together in desperation. I sighed into this mouth and felt my body melt into this. One of his hands went to my lower back and held me up while the other wound itself in my hair. His fingers trailed down until they rested on my neck, he was pressing down lightly and the warmth that spread made me moan. It didn't matter that my sister and her soon-to-be husband were right there watching us. It didn't matter that a battle was about to start down below, nothing mattered but us…in this moment….right now. His took the hair that had fallen out of my bun and tugged to tilt my head back. His mouth left mine to trail a path of hot kisses down the column of my mouth and back up. His bottom lip drug across my check as he breathed me in, he latched his mouth back onto mine and kissed me like he never would again.

His kiss was like a flame and in that moment I stood as a match just hoping to be ignited.

We released each other and Jacob leaned his forehead against mine, both of us breathing heavily. "You are so perfect sweet Abby…" he breathed. I opened my eyes and looked at him. He was so beautiful; if he died I would always remember this moment. "You come back to me, do you understand me? If you die, I die." I repeated his words back to him. He had the very same thing to me when I was drowning from salt water.

"How could I die when we haven't even gotten started yet?" He smiled widely at me and rubbed his nose against mine. "You're mine." He growled, playfully this time, and crushed me to his chest. This time I was breathing him in, he smelled like firewood and fresh rain. It was the most comforting scent and I took deep breathes. "You smell good…" I muttered. I could feel Jacob laughing. He kissed the top of my head, "You do too…" We broke apart. I looked over at my sister and she was beaming, Edward was smiling faintly.

"I've never needed you like I do right now. I've never hated you more than I do right now. You come back to me Jacob Ephraim Black." I glared and put both hands on my hips. He smiled and leaned down to kiss me hard, "Yes ma'am…" he swatted my ass and jogged away. I knew we weren't together, I knew he still loved my sister, I knew nothing changed. But I let go and just let myself enjoy this one moment. This one moment everything felt perfect.

Before all hell broke loose.

 **Author's note: This is just a small filler chapter. I wanted to give Abby and Jacob their own little moment. So just a fluff piece really. xoxo, Lottie**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: If you die, I die

I worried my lip; Edward had taken to reading Seth's mind because Seth was connected to the Pack's minds. Everything so far had been going well; our side was winning at least. Bella and I were clinging on to each other, much like when we were little kids and it was storming outside. I never needed my sister as much as I did right now. She was currently holding me together. I was grateful for our reconciliation. I had one hand wrapped around Bella's shoulders and the other nervously raking through Seth's fur. Suddenly Edward stood up and faced the mountains. Bella and I froze Seth's fur that was flat against my palm now stood on edge. He went to crouch down in front of me protectively and I pushed Bella closer to my side. Something had changed. Edwards voice broke through the tense silence, "Hello Victoria…Riley." Edward gracefully maneuvered around so he was still blocking Victoria's view from us. On the outside he looked completely calm; you could never tell that his entire life was at risk. I was detachedly impressed; he had a very good poker face. Victoria's wild red hair caught my sight as her and Edward circled around each other. Edward turned towards Riley, trying to reason with him. "She doesn't really love you, her real mate, James, died. She's only using you to avenger her lover."

I watched the whole affair from a third person point of view. I could see myself clutch my sister and my adopted little brother. I could see Edward trying to persuade Riley while Victoria lured him back to her. Nothing made sense, I was a dancer. I went to a boarding school and the craziest thing I'd ever done before this was sneak out for fast food before a recital with Ashley. The closest I'd been to my sister was through a phone screen before moving to Washington. Now I was face to face with a vampire who might very well kill me. My adopted little brother was a werewolf and my sister was engaged to a vampire. My life was a D rated horror movie. My eyes were wide, my mouth was incredibly dry and I had to blink because my vision was getting blurry. I shakily brought my hand to my cheek to find that I was crying.

"Oh no, no I don't want to kill Bella, I want her sister. I want Bella to suffer like I did, the one thing more painful to her than losing you….is losing her." My eyes snapped up to meet red orbs. Victoria's voice was childlike, high pitch. It reminded me of many different types of ballet recital choreography. _She would have been a beautiful dancer_. I thought dizzily. I could see her stalking towards me. Edward tackled her and Seth went to go take care of Riley. It was whirl of growls and screams. It was streaks of white and tan. They were moving too fast for our human eyes to process. I heard Seth yelp as he hit the side of a rock and lay still. I let go of my sister, desperately hoping Seth was in one piece. He couldn't die. He was my family now too. He couldn't die. I heard Bella screaming at me to come back. I slid into the snow on my knees in front of Seth, he whimpered and one of his eyes bore into mine. He winked. All I could do was sigh in relief, relief that was short lived as I felt cold hands wrap around my throat. Seth growled.

"I've got you now…." A tantalizing voice sang in my ear. I could see Bella's fear stricken face as she looked at me. Victoria was facing Edward and my sister, her hands crushing my wind pipe. I could feel the cold radiating off her hard granite body. I was so cold, my tears were freezing on my face and my fingers were blue. I tried to claw at her hands, my body going into survival mode. It was useless of course; her supernatural strength was no match to my human will to live. Edward tried to cautiously make his way towards me but every step he took closer, her hands got tighter around my throat. I was shaking from fear and closed my eyes tight. I tried to picture Jacob's face, how he looked after he kissed me. If I was going to die, his face would be one of the last I wanted to see. I thought of my dad and mom and Phil. I thought of the pack and how they became an extension of my family. I thought of my sister and Edward. I thought of my new found friendship with Angela. I loved everyone I'd met in Forks so much. Now everything would be over. I was jostled forward, but I was too oxygen deprived to realize much else. I felt my body slip away from me. I tried to open my eyes, my view distorted from snow; I realized I was lying on the ground. Seth was ripping Riley apart and Edward was already burning Victoria. I could smell the fire and the last thing I saw before I passed out was purple smoke.

"Is she okay? Is she going to be okay?" Everything was out of focus when I opened my eyes. I was leaned against something hot, I was sweating. I tried to move but my throat was on fire, it was like white hot pain.

"Her larynx was crushed, our kind is very strong. When Victoria had her hands wrapped around Abby-Lynn's throat it caused acute traumatic injury. Laryngeal Fractures are tricky to treat and don't follow any set pattern. There's no promise of what state her voice will be in when she wakes, or if she will even have one." I recognized Carlisle's voice. My head was pounding and my limbs felt very stiff. I tried to take inventory of my body, all my limbs seemed to my intact and I could wiggle my toes and fingers. Taking that as a good sign I turned to see what I was lying against. I saw Jacob, a much more mangled version. He was lying next to me; he was sweating and gritting his teeth. His right side was wrapped up and he looked like he was in a lot of pain. I went to touch his cheek lightly and his eyes that were pinched closed popped open in shock. "Abby? Baby, are you okay?" I nodded and tried to speak, I opened my mouth but nothing would come out. The act of trying to speak was very painful. I furrowed my eyebrows and Jacob took my hand off his check and pressed it into his chest. I looked around, we were in his bedroom. Several people were in the doorway talking, I caught my sister's eye and she ran to my side. "Oh my God, Abby I'm so glad you're okay." I wanted to scream, pitch a fit and throw things. I wanted to shake her and tell her that she almost got me killed **again**. Waking up disorientated was becoming a regular occurrence, I didn't like it. I rubbed my eyes and turned in Jacob's arms so I was facing my sister and his arms incased me effortlessly. He hugged me back to him and breathed me in. I cuddled closer, glad we were both okay. Though I had no clue what happened to Jacob. I cocked my head to my sister, hoping she would get the idea that I was completely lost. She seemed to take the hint and spoke in a rush, "After Seth pounced on Victoria you fell to the ground unconscious. Then Edward and Seth got rid of her and Riley. The Volturi came to see all of us after the battle was over. Everything was okay though…" She hurried to add when she saw my eyes widen in alarm. The Volturi was the last thing we needed. What we needed was a vacation. "But then we found out that a newborn had taken Jake and crushed half of his side. Leah thought she could take one on her own and Jake had to go and save her." I knew Leah probably felt awful, though she'd put on a brave face and act haughty. I knew she had to be feeling extremely guilty right now and I hoped that I'd get the chance to see her. Bella stopped talking when Carlisle came into the room. "Hello Abby, it's nice to see you awake. Can you sit up for me?" I tried to move but Jacob's arms circled around me tighter and he growled, refusing to let me go. I squeezed his hands to show him I was okay and he gradually let me sit up on the bed next to him. "Good, now can you speak?" I nodded and opened my mouth. Trying, once again, to make something come out. A weird rusty squeak/gurgle came out and I shut my mouth quickly seeing as the sound made my throat burn. Carlisle ran his fingers down the column of my throat, trying to check for damage. He sighed and crouched down to be eye level with me, "I think my biggest concern is Aphonia. I'm worried that the amount of damage to your larynx caused you to lose the ability to speak. It's very rare, but it does happen. It would not surprise me given it was a vampire would crushed your wind pipe." I looked around and saw everyone's eyes filled with worry. Emily bustled her way in with a hot cup of tea. I took it from her, glad for the heat that seeped into my fingers. I racked my brain for anything that would help me explain how I was feeling. Everyone was looking at me expectantly. I pursed my lips and tried to think back to the last three years. I had opted out of Spanish class and took ASL instead. I had spent freshman, sophomore, and junior year learning sign language. Despite my teacher saying it would never help me in the real world. _Think again Ms. Perry_. I hesitantly brought both my hands to the middle of my stomach, palms in, and took them. The sign for scared, because that's what I was. I was terrified. Nobody seemed to understand what I was trying to accomplish. I carefully spelled _'S' 'E' 'T' 'H'_. All I was getting were blank looks. I'd been teaching Seth sign language for his foreign language credit in school. He was my best bet if I wanted anyone to understand me. I saw him pass the door and I quickly chucked a pillow at his head and frantically waved him down. Inside I was panicking but I was going to try to act as normal as possible. My sister was already hysterical and she wasn't even hurt. I couldn't afford to fall apart.

I quickly signed _; I need you to tell everyone that I'm okay_. He relayed my message with ease. Jacob huffed from behind me, "You understand her?" Seth crossed his arms, "You'd be surprised with the things the pack knows about her that you don't."

Oh, right. Jacob and I were not together. He was in love with my sister. Jacob bit out, "I do know her. Back the fuck off Seth." He turned my head gently so he could look me in the eye, "I want to be with you." I looked down at our hands that had intertwined without me noticing. I ripped my hand from his and signed quickly. "She said that she thinks you want to be with her for as long as it takes for you to say it." Seth then added his own commentary, "I think what she's trying to get at, is that you say you want her now because you both just almost died. But what happens later when everything's back to normal? Will you still want her?" Suddenly I wish I was currently deaf instead of mute because I did not want to hear the answer to that question.

All I heard was silence.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Choked and Chastised**

I knew I would have to go back home eventually. I could only use the excuse that I was at Leah's for so long. Eventually dad would start getting suspicious. Leah and Emily helped me into the bathroom, when Bella tried to come with I simply waved her off. I knew my anger was slightly irrational, it wasn't Bella's fault. But the only thing I could think about was the fact that none of this would have happened if she wasn't involved with vampires. But I liked these vampires, I loved Rosalie and Alice. Esme and Carlisle were parental figures in both Bella's and I life. I couldn't be mad at my sister, Edward was her soul mate. I knew if I had the option, I'd risk it all to be with the person I loved. I tried not to think about Jacob but his face was the first to cross my mind. I could love him all day long and that wouldn't matter if he didn't love me back. Feelings were a bitch. Seth crouched down beside me, I signed ' _sister_ ' and Seth went to go bring Bella. When she walked in she looked like she'd been crying. "I'm so sorry sis, I'm so sorry." I just shook my head. I was sure God was laughing at me, somehow my sister could ruin everything she touched and she still gets her happy ending. I tried to be everything everyone needed me to be and that got me an imprint who didn't want me and a crushed larynx. Life. Fucking. Sucks. Between Bella, Emily, and Leah they tried everything to cover the bruises. They tried to cover it with makeup but every time they touched my neck I recoiled back violently from pain. They tried to tie a scarf around my neck instead, but the material was itchy and I kept trying to touch it which made the pain worse. In the end, the girls ran out of ideas.

Embry and Seth drove me home; Bella went back to the Cullen's house. I don't blame her; nobody wanted to be around when shit hit the fan. Hell, I didn't want to be here. Seth, of course, would be by my side for the foreseeable future. He was my only mode of communication at the moment. Embry parked his truck in my driveway and both of the boys helped me in the house. My dad came storming from upstairs as soon as Seth had shut the door. "Abby-Lynn Swan, where the hell have you been? What did you…." He caught sight of my neck, "What the hell happened to your neck? What happened to my daughter?" He looked threateningly at Seth and Embry. They took two steps backward as my dad took several menacing steps forward. "Who….strangled….my baby girl?" He snarled. I waved my arms frantically in front of my dad trying to convey that they didn't do anything. I looked at Seth pleadingly. I quickly signed, ' _tell my dad that you guys didn't do anything. Tell them I got mugged_.' He raised his eyebrows as if to say 'are you sure' I nodded. Seth ran his fingers through his hair and growled softly but repeated me nonetheless. Dad came and wrapped his arms around me in a tight bear hug. "I will find the bastard that hurt you bunny….and they will pay." I willed the tears to stay inside, versus sliding down my face. My dad hadn't called me bunny since I was six. He called me bunny because I hopped everywhere when I was little. I was born a dancer; I came out of the womb doing pirouettes. Dad didn't understand ballet at all, so he told everyone that I hopped around the house all day. Thus he always called me bunny. Then the tears came rushing down my cheeks like a dam. I let myself be consoled by my father, my rock, the one constant in my life. He was stable, sturdy, and strong. He was exactly what I needed right now.

Dad had me on lockdown in the living room, propped up on lots of pillows and thick blankets. Seth was staying with us so he could translate for me. The only other people allowed to see me were people that dad knew wouldn't upset me. Which translated to: Embry (who came to see me every day sometimes staying the night with Seth), Leah (who frequently came with Emily, I was glad to see they were mending fences), Bella (because she lived here and she was my sister) and Edward (because he was always with my sister). Alice and Rosalie came to see me often as well; they were on their way now. Rose was livid that I had gotten hurt, she blamed Jacob. How it was his fault I didn't know. Suddenly Rose came waltzing into the living room with Alice not far behind. It was only around 10 am so Seth was still asleep in the recliner. Bella and I were drinking coffee and talking quietly. Rose wrapped me up in a big hug, "How're you feeling?" I shrugged and make a _'so-so'_ gesture with my hand. The bruising around my neck was starting to fade from deep purple to a lighter blue color. I had gotten over the shock; I was starting to just accept that bad things happened to me. This was my life now. I just kept waiting for the one good thing that made all of this unbelievable shit worth it. Jacob had been begging for days to come see me, but everyone was objecting. I feel like even if we got together now, there's too much water under the bridge or whatever. How would we get past everything that's happened? Being put on lockdown gave me a lot of time to think and maybe I didn't want to get past everything. I wasn't the same person I was when I first came to Forks; I wasn't the perfect ballerina or even the perfect little sister. I had been broken and bruised now, I had lived. I was a completely different person now, I wasn't soft or meek. I was hard and outspoken now…because I had to be.

Dad has been on the war path trying to find the person that "mugged" me. He was pulling extra hours down at the station and Emmett was working side by side with him to make sure he didn't accidently stumble upon vampire activity. Carlisle was kept on speed-dial to check on me periodically. So far, as expected, dad was coming up empty handed on the mugger front. I wasn't worried, the damage was already done but I played the victim for my father's sake. Bella sat down next to me and signed, very slowly, " _are you okay?"_ I was touched to find out that everyone was learning sign language to communicate with me. Seth was the only one who could sign as fast as I could but the fact that everyone was trying was pretty touching. It had been almost a month and the bruises were now completely faded. I signed and told her I was okay, that she didn't need to worry. This is life, and it is what it is. Shit is going to happen. She paused briefly before biting her lip and signing again _, "What about Jacob?_ " I banged my head on the wall where I was still laying on the couch. Embry gave me a look to stop and went back to playing cards with Seth and Leah. Emily was making lunch in the kitchen, no matter how many times I told everyone I was fine now, they still insisted on dotting on me like an invalid. I moved my hands rapidly _, "I think I have to get over the fact that I'll probably never get an apology from him because in his twisted mind…he's done nothing wrong."_ Bella tried to assure me that Jacob felt terrible and that he missed me something awful. But all I could hear was a buzzing silence, the same silence I heard in his bedroom when asked if he'd still love me when I was healed. I think it all started when I stopped liking him. I still love him but I don't like him anymore…and that's when I knew my mind was preparing my heart for that moment. The one where I would say "I'm done" and really mean it. So did I really mean it? I was tied to him for the best of my life, I needed to let go and move on. I couldn't hold on to everything, I was a new person now that I've been through hell and maybe I needed to give him a chance to be a new person too. I looked at my sister, my head was swimming, but I signed that I wanted to see Jacob.

He was at the door five minutes later; apparently he'd taken to sleeping in the woods across the street in wolf form. He was waiting on the off chance that I might want to see him. I motioned him to the back porch where I sat on the swing and started rocking back and forth silently. I could see everyone gathered in the living room, all trying to pretend that they weren't watching us. Emily, Leah, dad, Embry, Seth, Sam, Paul, and Jared. My sister here too with Edward, Carlisle, Alice, and Rosalie. It was really nice to see everyone put aside their differences and come together for me. I was smiling to myself when Jacob's voice brought me back, "Why are you smiling?" I tilted my head and signed slowly, _"It's nice to see vampires and werewolves in the same room, not fighting, and just being together."_ He nodded slowly and seemed to be processing my words. "It's all because of you, you know. If it wasn't you no one would bother. They're only being civil to each other because of you, you bring everyone together." I smiled again and Jacob came to sit gingerly beside me. He threw his arm on the back of the swing and I felt the heat radiate towards my back. I started signing without looking away from the full moon in the sky, _"You asked me one time what do I need. And I almost said it to you right there and then. That what I need most is the power not to break, the power not to break under pressure, under love, under your heated gaze. The power not to break whenever you walk away from me, or whenever you hurt me with your words and your stupid actions and inactions. The power to walk away from you and never look back. The power to never fall in your arms again every time you come back. The power to still this treasonous, treacherous heart of mine. To say I don't love you anymore and mean it this time."_

I sighed heavily and heard him take a sharp intake of breath, "You don't want to love me?"

" _Do you want to love me, or do you want to still pine after my sister?"_

"You're everything your sister isn't and everything I didn't know I needed. You make me better Abby. When I first met you, you glided down the staircase with grace. You always seemed too good for me, and that had nothing to do with the way you looked. Even though, God you're beautiful, you always put 3 sugars in your coffee because you can't stand the bitter taste alone. I now you smell like lavender. You love romantic comedies and you laugh so hard at them that tears come to your eyes. I've come to notice every little thing about you Abby-Lynn and I've been so damn lucky to get to be around you and I took that for granted. You make me better and you don't even realize it. I want you Abby; I want you now and forever." His arm trailed down my arm and left goosebumps in his wake. I turned towards him abruptly, _"kiss me…"_ so he did. And I swear the fucking world stopped.

 **Author's Note: Sorry lovelies! I know it's taken forever but Uni has been a nightmare. Well I'm taking the semester off to work in the real world so I'll be posting more regularly. xoxo Lottie**


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